No One Destroys You Like Family
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: One of Donnie's retro-mutagen experiments goes awry, causing three of the four turtles to attack the fourth.


The sound of his feet hitting the cracked cement in a rhythmic pattern was helping to quell his rage, but not nearly as much as being out on the rooftops tracking down mutagen and destroying Kraang bots would have, but it was daylight, so it wasn't as if Raph had a lot of options. Normally, he would take out his anger on the practice dummy or sulk in his room, but, after his fight with Leo, Raph couldn't stand to be anywhere near the lair or his family, so he'd fled into the surrounding tunnels, desperately trying to run off his ire. It was working, but not as much as he needed. Raph knew that sooner rather than later he would have to return home, even if it was just to feed Spike. The thought made him realize that his pet probably hadn't eaten since that morning, and Raph knew he really shouldn't put off his return for too much longer. Solemnly, and with more than a little trepidation, he turned in the direction of home, not looking forward to his brothers' company just yet.

XYZXYZ

Leo didn't know if he should go after Raph or not. His brother had been gone for a long time, and Leo would be lying if he said he wasn't just the slightest bit worried, but he knew that Raph needed time to himself. Tensions had been running high between the two of them ever since Master Splinter had decided to visit Japan suddenly, leaving the four of them to their own devices. Leo tried to keep everything running smoothly, but it seemed that without Master Splinter's presence to temper their most tumultuous sibling, Raphael flew off the handle more and more, and it was honestly beginning to wear on all of them. Leo knew something had to be done before something - or more likely someone - snapped.

His meditation on the matter was cut short, however, when he heard a loud unfamiliar bubbling sound, which was distinctively not coming from the direction of the kitchen. He sighed to himself as he prepared himself for whatever Donatello or Michelangelo were doing. When he exited the dojo, Leo's apprehension only grew when he saw Mikey giving him a curious look. "So, you heard it too, huh? What do you think Donnie is doing in there?"

Leo merely shrugged. "No idea, but I guess we should go find out."

XYZXYZ

Donnie wasn't exactly sure what was happening to the compound he was working with, but he was fairly certain that it wasn't supposed to bubble like that. He was just about to grab another, much larger beaker - so the substance wouldn't bubble over - when the sound of his door being thrown open distracted him. He glanced up to see both Leonardo and Michelangelo standing in his doorway, looking as if they expected the entire place to blow up at any moment. Donnie glared in irritation. It had been two weeks since his last explosion, and the others still weren't letting it go. "What's going on in here, Don?"

Donnie rolled his eyes at Leo as he turned to retrieve the beaker he'd been looking for before they barged in. "I was just trying something new with the mutagen when…"

"Um, is it supposed to be doing that?"

Donatello quickly spun around to see both Leo and Mikey standing over the bubbling liquid with concern in their eyes. He was about to remark that he didn't actually know, when suddenly there was a hissing sound. Before any of them could hope to dive for cover, the substance boiled up and exploded all over them. Donnie stared at the other two turtles now covered in blue-green goop and laughed nervously. At least, the liquid was cooled. "Um, I really didn't expect it to do that."

Neither Mikey nor Leo looked particularly amused by their current predicament, but it was actually Mikey who appeared the most apprehensive. "Donnie, what is this stuff? What's it going to do to us? Are we all going to get double mutated and turn into gnarly beasts with horns or something? What if we all start melting?"

Donnie shook his head and rolled his eyes at his most immature brother. Sometimes Mikey's mind worked in the most peculiar of ways. "I doubt were going to start melting, though that would be an interesting reaction, given the..."

"Yeah, yeah, focus, D. You don't actually _know_ that we're not going to melt, do you?" Mikey started rubbing his arms and face frantically; presumably making sure that he wasn't already melting.

Leonardo sighed loudly. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm with Mikey on this one." At Donnie's look of astonishment, Leo continued. "Not about us melting…at least I hope not about us melting, but you don't really know what this stuff will do to us, do you?"

Donnie shook his head. A large part of him was concerned, but there was another part that just desperately wanted to record his findings. "I won't lie. There was a small amount of mutagen in the compound, which means it is dangerous, but the amount was actually extremely miniscule. I had only added a single drop with an eyedropper, which is why I wasn't expecting it to bubble up so much. I mean, it's really fascinating when you think about it. The fact that it reacted so much with such a tiny amount is really…"

"Donnie, maybe we should get cleaned up, and then you can do your thing."

"Oh yeah…sure thing, Leo. It's just that the results are intriguing." Donnie absentmindedly followed the other two in the direction of the bathroom to wash off his experiment. Most of his brain power, however, was devoted to figuring out how the compound might affect them, and discovering why the mutagen had reacted the way that it did.

XYZXYZ

Michelangelo scrubbed at his face for the third time, desperately trying to remove the gunk from his skin. He swore that when Donnie least suspected it; he was getting a water balloon to the face. In fact, Mikey was sure that he could pull it off after they were done cleaning themselves off. "Man, I don't think you should be allowed to mess with this stuff for like…ever. It's sticky, smells, and I think I'm going to end up rubbing off my adorable face before I get it all off."

Donnie rolled his eyes, while he continued wiping down his plastron. "Actually, the way it's reacting with the water is quite remarkable, while it may not reverse the mutagen, it could possibly dilute it, and…" Donnie immediately stopped talking at the simultaneous groans he got from Leo and Mikey.

"All I know is that this stuff better not mar my lovable turtle face." Mikey gave Donnie a big wide-eyed stare, while he secretly tried not to snicker at Donnie's exasperation. "I'm the cute one. What happens if I stop being cute?"

Donnie sighed at Mikey's antics, which really only made the hyperactive turtle want to annoy him more. "It'll be fine, Mikey. I'll do some tests, but we should be fine. And you're not the cute one."

"Uh, Donnie, shouldn't you clean up your lab first?" Leo's voice was muffled by the wash cloth he was vigorously scrubbing his face with, but the other two turtles heard him loud and clear.

Mikey's face scrunched up at the thought of what Donatello's lab looked like right now. "We don't have to help, right, Leo? We just got this stuff off of us." The whine was evident even to his own ears, but Mikey didn't care. He really didn't want to spend another hour trying to remove mutagen slime from his body.

Before Leo could respond, Don interjected. "I can do the tests first and clean up the lab while I'm waiting for the results. You know, to put you both at ease."

Leo nodded. "That does seem like the best course of action."

The three of them finished cleaning up, and then headed back into Donatello's lab. Mikey, for once, made sure not to touch anything. He didn't want to get any more of the sticky goop on him than he already had.

XYZXYZ

When he walked into the lair, Raphael was relieved that his brothers were nowhere in sight. He just wanted to feed Spike and spend a few hours alone in his room. He practically ran up the few stairs to his bedroom, and slammed the door shut before he realized that all of Spike's food was in the kitchen. With a growl of annoyance, Raph gently grabbed Spike and placed him on his shoulder before leaving his room once again. He quickly grabbed Spike's lettuce out of the bottom of the refrigerator and turned back to the direction of his room. He made it to the bottom of the stairs before he heard his brothers emerging from Donnie's lab.

Raph wasn't really interested in whatever the three of them had been doing in there and had every intention of ignoring them until he heard Mikey's taunting voice behind him. "Hey look, it's the only one of us who can stand to be around Raph all the time, but that's probably 'cause the poor guy doesn't have a choice. It's not like Spike can say anything. Is that why you like him, Raphie? He can't say anything to upset you."

Raph wasn't used to this kind of teasing from Mikey. Sure, the other turtle liked to get on his nerves and poke fun at him, but never like this. "What's your problem, Mikey? Didn't you get your nap today? Poor baby is cranky."

Mikey laughed at him, and Raph had to admit that he hated the sound of that laugh. It wasn't Mikey's fun loving chuckle or his obnoxious teasing laugh. It was downright mean. "The only baby I see around here is you. You talk to your pet, 'cause it's the only one you can make listen to you."

Raphael didn't know what had gotten into Mikey, but he was definitely getting on Raph's nerves. He could feel the head of lettuce being crushed in his hands, and Raph had to physically stop himself from launching it at Mikey's head. "I'm done with this, Mikey." He turned back around to head up the stairs, but, before he could take more than a single step away, Mikey flipped over him and was blocking his path. "Get out of my way." Raph ground out between clenched teeth, but Mikey merely ignored him.

"Aww, is the baby going to cry?" Mikey taunted in an obnoxious tone as he contorted his face into an exaggerated expression of sadness.

"I'm not going to cry. Now, GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Raph's growl of irritation did not have the desired effect, however.

Instead of moving out of his way, Mikey moved closer. "Whatcha gonna do, Raphie-boy? Get angry and leave again? Go ahead. No one misses you when you're gone."

That was it, Raph couldn't take it anymore. He took the now crushed head of lettuce and threw it at Mikey's head, silently promising himself that he would find something else for Spike to eat. Mikey dodged the lettuce and flipped over Raph's shoulder, grabbing Spike on the way. "Ha ha, look what your anger got you this time, Raphie. You never do anything right when you're angry. How's your little pet going to feel now that he hasn't got anything to eat? Bet you can't even get him back. Though, I doubt the little guy minds. It's not like anyone really wants to be around you, anyway." Raph lunged for Mikey who danced away from him, laughing the entire time. "Poor baby, you're just too slow."

Raph couldn't understand why Mikey was doing this, but he swore once he got Spike back he was going to pound the snot out of his insufferable little brother. "Mikey, this isn't funny. Give me Spike back!"

Mikey was holding Spike up above his head staring into the other turtle's face with an expression Raph didn't recognize, and it was honestly starting to worry him. "Nah, I don't think he wants you. What do you say, Spike? Want to go visit a less useless turtle?" All of a sudden, Mikey spun around. "Hey, Catch!" Michelangelo yelled before throwing Spike in the direction of Leo and Donnie.

Raph jumped onto Mikey the moment he released Spike, ignoring the painful kicks his brother landed. He couldn't believe his eyes. He frankly didn't think he ever remembered Mikey being so careless with Spike. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?"

Donnie simply stood there, callously staring while Leo caught Spike. "Yeah, Mikey, what's wrong with you? Why would I want that?" Donnie's voice dripped with disgust as he glanced at Spike.

Leo shrugged while he tossed Spike from one hand to the other and back again. "You could always use him in your experiments. It might be easier to test the mutagen, if you had a test subject."

Donnie nodded noncommittally. "That is true, but then I'd have to take care of it."

Raph stopped hitting Mikey as his eyes caught the movement of Leo's hands. His eyes followed every toss, staring incredulously as Leo carelessly juggled Spike. "That's enough! I don't know what's gotten into you guys, but this isn't funny. Give me Spike back and stop hurting him!" Raph's moment of distraction cost him as Mikey slammed a foot into his plastron, knocking Raphael onto his shell. Mikey quickly flipped onto his feet, landing on Raph, and roughly pressed his foot to Raph's throat.

"Hurting him? Oh, we haven't even begun hurting him, Raphie." Leo's voice was so cold and devoid of emotion that it made Raph's stomach churn. He thoughtlessly tossed Spike to Donnie, who was examining the non-mutant turtle like he was some kind of science experiment.

Raph used all of his strength to knock Mikey's foot away and quickly got to his feet, fully enraged now. "This isn't a game! Give me Spike and walk away before I knock the green off ya!"

Donnie flung Spike over to Mikey, before turning his cruel gaze onto Raph. "You're welcome to try, but I doubt such a sad, pathetic, loathsome child can do more than expostulate." 

Leo shrugged nonchalantly as the three of them moved around to circle Raph. "Donnie's right. All that rage…all that fury…all that shouting, and why? Because no one's listening, and why should we? You aren't worth listening to, and deep down you know it."

Mikey laughed maliciously as he held Spike up over his head and let Raph's pet drop into his other, much lower, hand as the three of them continued to move around Raph. "That's why you talk to your pet, after all."

Leo threw his head back suddenly and joined in on Mikey's taunting laugh. "I bet Spike is just _dying_ for us to put him out of his misery."

With an infuriated growl, Raph threw himself at Leo only to be knocked to the side by a hit from Donnie's bo staff. He landed on his shell once again, the wind knocked out of him from the blow. "Eh, not pulling your punches anymore, huh, Donnie?"

Donnie's smile was one Raphael had never seen on his brother's face before, and if he wasn't so damn angry, Raph might have actually paused at the gleam in his brother's eyes. "No, but now that you mention it, I'd be only too happy to oblige."

Raph smirked and pulled out his sais as he got to his feet once more. He was done trying to walk away from this fight. "Bring it."

Don swung his bo staff with a force that Raph had never seen before. He blocked the blow with his crossed sais and felt a jolt reverberate through his arms and down into his feet. He recovered in just enough time to deflect a katana aimed for his throat. Any other time, Raph would be ecstatic to see his siblings willing to fight him without holding back, but right now all he wanted was to keep Spike safe and figure out what the heck had happened to his brothers. There was no doubt in his mind that something was causing them to act this way. After all, they never hit each other with full force…no matter how livid they were with one another, not even Raph.

Raphael dodged more strikes from Leo as he danced away from the extended reach of Donnie's bo staff, kicking and punching when the opportunity presented itself. He wasn't quick enough to avoid every swipe of Leonardo's twin swords, however, and he could feel blood dripping from various wounds along his arms and legs. Raph suddenly ducked and spun to face the opposite direction, only because he heard the whir of Mikey's nunchucks coming toward his head. He didn't know what Mikey had done with Spike, but he didn't have enough time to look for the non-mutant turtle before Raph felt the impact of Donnie's bo to the back of his knees. He tried to ignore the pain and stay standing, but the force of the hit left him kneeling on the ground regardless. The padding on his knees did little to cushion the blow, and his right knee was definitely going to swell and bruise later from the impact of both Donnie's bo and the floor.

Still kneeling and desperately trying to work through the searing twinge in the knee Donnie had hit, Raph avoided another slash of Leo's katanas by tucking his head into his shell, but he couldn't stop Mikey's nunchucks from slamming into his shoulder. He could feel a piece of his marginal scute break off, but that hardly concerned Raph in comparison to the feeling of his shoulder dislocating. His head reemerged from his shell only to see the blur of Donnie's bo staff as it knocked directly into his center, sending Raph flying towards the other side of the room, where he landed hard on his shell. He flipped to his feet and immediately brought his sais up to block another strike from Leo's swords, ignoring the pain lacing through his shoulder at the movement.

Raphael saw the vague image of motion out of the corner of his eye, and managed to push Leo away fast enough to evade a flying kick from Michelangelo, but, even when fighting as viciously as they were now, Mikey still retained his natural agility and unpredictability. While Raph was distracted by the kick, Michelangelo brought his nunchucks around, and bashed them against Raph's wrist. The loud crack was almost drowned out by Raph's grunt of pain as he dropped his sai to the ground. There was absolutely no question about it, Raph knew that his wrist was broken, but he also knew that if he was going to make it out of this fight he had to ignore the pain and keep going. He quickly searched for where his sai had landed, leapt out of the way of Leo's next attack, and reached out for the weapon, knowing full well that grasping the handle was going to send a jolt of pain through him, and that his range of motion would be limited at best, but Raph didn't care.

Gritting his teeth, Raphael made his move, but, the moment his fingers wrapped around the hilt, a sudden burst of agony shot through his arm from his fractured wrist. However, it was nothing in comparison to the feeling of the wood of Donnie's bo staff cracking against his hand with a brutal force that left his hand undeniably broken. He dropped his sai once again, and knew there was no amount of fighting through the anguish that was going to allow him to get a good enough grip on the weapon to do more than slow him down, so he left it discarded on the floor, feeling like he was abandoning a part of himself.

He turned to face his brothers, only to slide under another attack from Leo, leaving him right in front of Mikey. He jabbed with his remaining sai, but Mikey was too quick for Raphael's slowing body. His nunchucks slammed into Raph's middle, knocking him back slightly. The sharp pain of his ribs cracking distracted him for a moment, but Raph knew he couldn't stay still for long. He dodged a strike from Leo, but Raphael didn't get a moment's reprieve before he was forced to twist away from Donatello's bo once more. His entire right arm screamed with every movement, due to his broken hand and wrist, as well as his dislocated shoulder. However, he pushed through the pain, letting his anger at his injuries drive him to fight harder.

Raph rolled out of the way of Leonardo's katana, and held up his remaining sai to block Donnie's bo. He could hear Michelangelo behind him, flipping towards him. Raph waited until the last possible second, and then slid out of the way just in time for Mikey to go flying into Donnie. He spun around to take on Leo, only to observe him gracefully leap over the huddled forms of their other two brothers and charge at Raph. He twirled his remaining sai, aiming to disarm at least one of Leo's swords. He shifted his back foot into the proper position and let Leo barrel towards him until his brother was nearly on top of him. Once Raphael had his opening, he made his move. Sliding his sai into place along Leonardo's katana, he suddenly twisted his arm and wrenched the sword away from Leo's hand. The blade went soaring across the room and imbedded into the far wall.

Leo's eyes flashed over to his missing blade before cutting back to Raph's gaze. The expression on his brother's face wasn't one that Raph was used to seeing directed at him, even during their most brutal of fights. The thought distracted him just long enough to miss the way that Leo altered the position of his sword, and, by the time Raphael realized his mistake, it was far too late. Leonardo quickly knocked away Raph's remaining sai, and spun his katana, abruptly piercing through Raph's foot. Raphael's howl of pain was cut short as he felt a foot slam into him. He fumbled to stay on his feet and ignore the excruciating burning lancing through his injured foot.

Through the haze of pain, Raph could feel the distinctive pressure of a bo staff against his throat as Donnie used the horizontal staff to pull Raph's body toward him, choking Raph in the process. He could feel Donatello's plastron pressed to his shell as Donnie dragged them both to the floor, practically sitting them both on the floor while effectively pinning Raph against Donnie's body. Raphael worked his good hand between the bo and his throat, using all of the strength he could muster to give himself room to breathe. He saw Leonardo standing over him, wiping Raph's blood from his sword. "Is that really all you've got? I expected better of you, Raphael. After all, you're always going on about how you're the strongest of us…the best fighter out of all of us. You're pathetic!" Leo spat the words as if they were a curse, and Raph merely watched as his brother hastily turned from him, presumably going to retrieve his other weapon from the wall.

Raph was too busy struggling to get away from Donatello as he panted through the agony of his injuries to really care about what Leo was planning to do once he had both of his weapons back, and, quite frankly, Raphael was more distracted with watching Mikey grab one of his fallen sais. The growl Raph emitted as he watched Michelangelo's hand wrap around the hilt of his own weapon was completely involuntary, but just as heartfelt as always. Raphael hated it when anyone else touched his weapons, and his brothers knew that better than anyone. He lost track of Mikey's movements, due to Donnie's hold on him, limiting his range of motion, but when Michelangelo returned to his line of vision, Raph's stomach dropped at what he saw. Mikey was holding Spike in his left hand, and he had one of Raph's sais in his other hand, pointed directly at Spike's head.

Mikey began dancing around in a wide circle around Raph, singing at the top of his lungs. "We're gonna have a Spike skewer, a Spike skewer! We're gonna have a Spike skewer tonight!"

Raph snarled as he tried with all of his might to get out of Donnie's hold and launch himself at Michelangelo, but with most of the right side of his body rather useless, due to various injuries, his thrashing was in vain, especially once Donatello added even more pressure to the bo staff at his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut against the visual of Mikey threatening Spike with his own weapon as he desperately attempted to block out the sound of Mikey's demented song. Raph kept trying to wrestle his way free, even as he resigned himself to being unable to escape his brothers. Mikey was still dancing around him singing his horrid song when Raph felt another presence standing before him.

Without even opening his eyes, he knew that it was Leonardo looming over him. "You'd think by now you would have learned to stop fighting. It's sad, really. You spend so much of your time fighting the whole world, and for what? You're the reason for so many of our problems. You get us into more fights than you get us out of, and your brash behavior is more of a hindrance than anything else. When you leave to go throw one of your hissy fits in the sewers or on the rooftops I often wish you wouldn't bother coming back. In fact, I don't even know why you do. We'd be better off without you."

"It's true, you know. We would, indeed, be better off without you. You're such a burden to all of us." Raph couldn't drown out the sound of Donnie's voice, not when he was so close to him. "How many times have we been hurt because of you and your temper? How much time have we all wasted dealing with your mistakes? How many battles did we needlessly enter into because of you? How many items have I had to fix, because you break everything you touch? How many bandages have I wasted mending your wounds?"

Raphael could still hear Michelangelo threatening to turn Spike into a skewer, but, at that point, compared to Leo's and Donatello's words, it was nothing more than background noise. Leo abruptly kicked him, specifically targeting the foot that he had stabbed earlier. Raph jerked away while trying to keep the sharp intake of breath at the sudden pain to himself. The knee that Donnie had hit with his bo was growing stiffer and becoming harder to move, but it was little more than a dull ache compared to everything else. "It's not just us, either. Master Splinter wishes he had left you at that pet shop. You're such a nuisance." Leo was glaring down at him with disgust evident in his voice.

"He was already sick of you when you were a child." Raph could tell that there was a sneer on Donnie's face by his tone, and he wasn't sure if it was Don's tone or his words that made his throat fill with acid, but, either way, Raphael felt as if he was going to be sick. "Why do you think he didn't go looking for you when we were kids when you ran away all of the time? He was hoping that you'd never come back."

The reminder of just how infrequently Splinter would chase him down as a child made a burning sensation form in the pit of his stomach. Raphael never had figured out why Splinter had let him roam as much as he had, but Raph had always assumed it was for his own benefit. Still, he couldn't help but see the possible truth in his brothers' words. He suddenly cried out in pain as Donnie's foot collided with his broken hand, none too gently. Clearly, he could tell that Raphael wasn't paying attention and he didn't appreciate Raph's mind wandering. The sting of his wound, however, did nothing to drown out Donnie's words. "You know, Splinter left because of you." Donatello's voice was so full of conviction that it was becoming harder and harder for Raph not to believe every single word. "He couldn't take you anymore, so he took a vacation from you. We begged him to take us with him, but we weren't allowed to go, because you're our punishment, Raphie. Being with you is always a punishment."

Raph was still trying to keep Donnie from closing off his airway completely, when he caught the abrupt movement of Mikey stopping his song and dance, dropping Spike - who was securely tucked away in his shell - and his sai to the floor, before spinning with a wicked grin plastered on his face towards something on the other side of Raph. He didn't even get a chance to call out to his pet before Mikey was jumping up and down. "Ha!" Raphael could tell that Michelangelo's shout of elation didn't bode well for him. "He might be our punishment, but here's his." Raph bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from shrieking, and his struggle to get away renewed with a sudden fire, as he saw Mikey holding a rather large cockroach in his hand.

Leo spun around to face Mikey with a truly sadistic smirk on his face. "And just what should we do with that, dear brother?"

Michelangelo held the cockroach out on one of his fingers as he began to slowly inch his way over toward Raph, who grunted in pain as he thrashed as much as possible with Donnie still holding him in place. "We're going to feed it to him. What else?"

Raph immediately froze at Mikey's words. He was absolutely certain that his brother was joking. After all, there was no way Mikey could possibly be that cruel…not when he knew exactly how Raphael felt about cockroaches. Raph didn't realize he was shaking until he heard Donnie's mocking voice behind him. "Aww, look how scared the big baby is. He's practically vibrating." 

Raphael clamped his mouth shut as tightly as possible, ignoring the feeling of his teeth clinking together, as Mikey stood over him, dangling the cockroach in front of his face. "Come on, Raphie. Open up nice and wide." He singsonged as he lowered the roach closer to Raph's mouth.

Leonardo was instantly and unexpectedly kneeling beside Raph, leaning in close with a dangerous expression on his face. "Don't fight it, Raphie. Fighting has already gotten you into so much trouble. After all, we wouldn't even be here right now if you had just walked away."

Raph couldn't help but agree with Leo. After all, if he had just ignored Mikey's taunting, he wouldn't have been sitting here right now with a dislocated shoulder, broken wrist, fractured hand, pierced foot, and stiff knee. Spike wouldn't have been tucked into his shell, lying on the ground, too scared to even attempt to get away, but, more importantly, Raph wouldn't have been sitting here forced to endure being this close to a cockroach. The fear and self-loathing made the burning rage inside of him boil up again, and all he desperately wanted was to yell at the other three, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth to speak, then they wouldn't hesitate to feed him the roach. Raphael tried to turn his face away from his brothers, but Leo roughly grabbed his head and forced him to look straight at the roach that Mikey was still suspending mere inches from his face. "Open your mouth and take your punishment or we'll do it for you."

Raph shook his head violently, trying to dislodge Leo's hands. Before he could register what was happening, Raph felt Donnie dig the heel of his foot into his already injured knee, hard. The pressure continued until there was a loud crunch, and the only thing that stopped him from allowing his mouth to open wide in a pained filled scream was the fact that he was biting his tongue ruthlessly. As blood filled his mouth, Raph's thrashing calmed momentarily, due to both weakness and the sudden lack of pressure on his face when one of Leo's hands left his head.

However, Raphael's eyes widened in terror as he watched Leonardo grab one of his katanas and place the blade against his pursed lips. "Last chance, Raphael. Open your mouth." Raph still refused, but there was nothing he could do as Leo used his blade to pry open his mouth. Leo glared at him, utterly uncaring as the edge of his sword splint open his brother's lips. He slid his sword to the side slightly, taking skin with the movement, and leaving Raphael's mouth looking rather grotesque with all of the blood running down his face.

As soon as Leo's katana was out of the way enough, Mikey shoved the roach into Raph's mouth. He desperately used his tongue to try to force the cockroach out of his mouth along with the blood slowly filling his orifice. However, all he managed to do was force blood to trickle down his chin and onto his plastron. Raph immediately cringed and gagged as he felt the roach crawl towards the back of his throat. He was so repulsed by its legs and carapace wiggling against his tongue that he barely noticed as Leo withdrew his sword.

However, his wrestling to get free picked up once more as he felt Leonardo's hands clamp around his beak, trying to force him to swallow down the roach. Raphael was thrashing so violently that he actually managed to tear his face away from Leo's hands only to vomit all over himself. Leo immediately jumped away, and Raph could barely make out the form of Mikey doing the same through the tears that automatically filled his vision as he retched all over himself. Donnie practically threw himself backwards away from Raphael as the other turtle pushed himself onto all fours and continued to empty his stomach contents all over the floor.

"Dude, you're so gross, and that smell is disgusting." Mikey sneered as he threw a towel down in front of Raph.

Raph grabbed the towel in his good hand - ignoring the tremors and searing agony of holding himself up with his bad hand as he tried not to put too much weight on his ruined knee - and wiped off his face and plastron the best he could, then with as much force as he could muster he threw the towel at Mikey, who shrieked and danced away from the soiled rag, while Raphael slowly got to his feet. He disregarded the pain and unsteadiness of his steps as he launched himself at Mikey and started hitting him. "You sick demented psycho! What is your damage? What's wrong with you? How could you…why would you…? You twisted little freak! You…you monster!"

Raph could feel the other two grab his arms and try to wrench him away from Mikey - who was lying on the floor with Raph on top of him - but even with the sharp burning sensation lancing through the entire right side of his body, Raphael's rage gave him the strength to jerk his arms away from Leo and Donnie and continue pummeling Mikey. He could hear the other two warning him to stop, but Raph didn't care. There was nothing that could keep him from extracting revenge on his brother. At least that was until, Leonardo's katana pierced through Raph's left calf muscle, distracting him long enough for Donnie's bo to connect with his already cracked ribs, and knock him away from Michelangelo.

The three of them circled Raph once again as he struggled to his feet, groaning in pain while blood sluggishly dripped from his various wounds. Suddenly, Mikey yelled something incoherent as he kicked Raph as hard as he could. Raphael fell forward, smacking his beak against the hard cement floor. There was blood pooling in his mouth again from Leo's katana, and the fall certainly hadn't helped at all. The three of them surrounded him quickly, their weapons held at the ready as they started to insult him once again. Raph snarled deep in his throat as they began to kick his wounded legs and arm. He tried to get up, but every time he managed to get his limbs under him, one of their weapons crashed into him, hurtling him back to the floor.

Raph tried to fight back, but there was no relief from his brothers' assault. His stubbornness gave out when it became evident that the only way to protect himself was to pull into his shell completely. Dragging his injured limbs into his shell was one of the single most excruciating things Raphael had ever done, and he honestly worried about passing out from the pain. Although, passing out would have been a blessing when measured against listening to the contemptuous voices of his brothers. His shell did absolutely nothing to dampen the sound, and Raph knew there would be no reprieve as he heard them moving around him once more.

Without the slightest bit of warning, the three of them attacked almost as if one, cracking their weapons against his shell over and over again. Each blow was harder than the last, and Raph honestly didn't know how much his battered shell could take, though the ache that followed every blow was only marginal in contrast to his brothers' jeers. "How could we want you around? All you do is demolish everything around you!" He could feel the distinctive impact of Donatello's bo colliding with his shell. The sound of the blow reverberated through his entire being.

"Why did you bother coming back? Why do you always come back? You're the cause of all of our turmoil." The sensation of a katana slicing and hacking into his shell was almost painful enough for Raph to drown out Leonardo's words…almost.

"I wish Splinter had left you behind…we all do." Michelangelo's nunchucks smashed into Raph's shell in the exact same place as Leo's sword and Donnie's bo staff had hit.

The three of them continued their onslaught and soon the blows were coming too quick and numerous for him to keep track of who was hitting him and with which weapon. It felt as if it continued for hours until finally there was an abrupt sound that cut through everything else and an intense pain that Raph couldn't even accurately describe as he felt his shell splinter and crack where his brothers had been relentlessly striking him.

"You're a disgrace as a brother." Michelangelo's voice rang out clearly over everything else as Raph's breath was stolen from him, though he wasn't sure if the shock was due to his physical pain or his brother's words.

"And a ninja." Leo practically spat as his foot collided against the side of Raph's shell, shoving him into the nearby waterway.

Mikey's insults hurt the most out of all of them. After all, Raph knew that he always broke everything, and that he caused the most fights within the family, and he had always thought that Leo believed him to be a terrible ninja, but to hear that Mikey thought of him as an awful brother caused more damage than everything else combined. He emerged from his shell shortly after hitting the water, but Raph wanted nothing more than to sink into the pain and let himself float away from everything else. A shadow suddenly fell over the water, and Raphael used the last of his strength to turn and look up. What he saw made his eyes widen in fear. Leonardo stood over the water holding Spike above his head. "And take your pet with you." The words were muffled by the water as Leo carelessly dropped Spike into the waterway.

The sound of Spike hitting the water made panic swell within Raph as he clawed his way through the water to his pet. Once he wrapped his good hand around the non-mutated turtle, Raph used his less injured leg to propel them both forward through the waterway. His only desire was to get as far away from the lair as possible. He floated with the current, hoping to find a safe place a fair distance away to get out of the water and rest, but before he could find such a place Raphael was dragged into a pipe. The pipe banged into his wounded arm and the sudden pain made him loosen his grip on Spike. He desperately tried to hold onto his pet as debris from the city smacked into his hand, but Spike was swept away.

"Spike!" He screamed as the non-mutant turtle disappeared into the garbage-ridden water. He kicked off of the wall he had crashed into, and blinked through the intense pain racing through his body. The cold water eventually soothed his cuts and bruises, making the search for Spike just the tiniest bit easier, but Raph knew better than to think sewer water was good for him. The water was dark, making it almost impossible to see, and dread instantaneously set in. Raph couldn't bear the thought of losing Spike…not after everything he had endured. He had to find the other turtle, if only so he could stop feeling as though his entire world was falling apart around him.

He tried his best to swim after Spike, while using both of his hands to feel around for the other turtle. He had promised Spike that he would keep him safe and protect him. Raphael couldn't help but feel like an utter failure in that regard. He hadn't managed to do either of those things, and it didn't matter to him that there was no way he could have possibly known what awaited him when he returned to the lair. He still felt as if he should have been able to stop his brothers and figure out what had happened to them.

The water petered out into a drainage canal, filled with the trash that had made its way down to the sewers from the surface. Raph was gently swept into a heap of garbage by the moderate flow of the water. He immediately began crawling around on his hands and knees, barely keeping his cries of pain to himself as he searched for Spike. He found the other turtle lazily swimming in a shallow pool of water by some old soup cans and newspapers. The breath of relief that escaped Raph as he tenderly scooped Spike out of the water and cradled the other turtle to his plastron in his uninjured arm was completely involuntary. "I've got ya, Spike. I won't let anything happen to ya. I promise."

All of the energy completely drained from Raph as he leaned his head back against the pile of trash behind him and shut his eyes. He held Spike as close to himself as he possibly could, and slowly drifted into unconsciousness.

XYZXYZ

Donnie's entire body felt like it was made out of lead and he had the worst headache he had ever experienced. He glanced around the room, only to spot Leo passed out on the beanbag chair and Mikey lying on the floor next to him. He didn't even remember leaving his lab, so he wasn't exactly sure how the three of them ended up sleeping in various positions in front of the television. The room was suspiciously clean for a movie watching marathon to have happened. In fact, the entire area smelled strongly of cleanser, though Donatello didn't remember any wild cleaning sprees. He yawned loudly, startling Leo from his slumber.

Leonardo surveyed his surroundings, clearly confused by what he saw. "What are we doing out here?"

Donnie shrugged as he stretched his heavy limbs. "I don't know. The last thing I remember is listening to Mikey's whining while I drew his blood."

Leo began to nod, before he abruptly jumped to his feet and looked around again. "Wait, what time is it? Where's Raph? Shouldn't he have come back by now?"

"It's…" Donnie's eyes widened as his gaze fell on the clock. "Whoa, it's been hours since we were in my lab. How long were we sleeping and why don't I remember coming out here in the first place?"

Leo shook his head as he bent down to wake up Michelangelo. "I don't know, but we should really go search for Raph. What if he managed to get himself into trouble again?" As Mikey's eyes slowly blinked open, Leo pulled him to his feet. "Come on, Mikey, we've gotta go. It's late and Raph still isn't back.

Mikey groaned as he got to his feet. "Man, I feel like I've been used as a punching bag."

Donnie stared at Mikey for a long moment, giving him a quick once over, keeping the growing concern of their current unknown circumstances to himself. "You look like you were used as a punching bag. What happened to you?"

Mikey shrugged. "No idea. All I remember is you stabbing me with a needle." He glared at Donatello as he rubbed his forearm where Donnie had drawn his blood earlier, though Donnie doubted that the mark still hurt, given how long ago that apparently had been.

Donnie rolled his eyes at Mikey's ridiculous behavior. "I told you it would have gone easier if you had stopped squirming."

"Guys!" Leo's voice interrupted their bickering, and, when they both turned to look at him, his expression was severe. However, Donnie could easily detect the signs of worry. "We'll figure that out later. Right now, we have to go find Raph. Who knows what he's gotten himself into this time?"

As the three of them grabbed their gear and headed out, Donnie's own anxiety was starting to set in, especially when he considered the large gaps of missing time they shared. He hoped that they found Raphael quickly, so he could figure out what had happened to the rest of them.

XYZXYZ

Leonardo led the other two through tunnel after tunnel, searching for their missing brother and pondering just how likely it was that Raph left for good this time. After all, he didn't remember seeing Spike in the lair, though he could have sworn that the non-mutated turtle was there when Raphael originally stormed out. Leo wondered if it was possible that Raph had returned while the three of them had been napping and took Spike with him. He couldn't help but question if the fights between them had really gotten bad enough that Raph no longer wanted to be with his family. Somehow that thought was easier to swallow than the idea that his brother was lying somewhere injured and unable to make his way home.

The idea that Raphael had decided to take off permanently also made a sick sort of sense, especially after Donnie revealed that Raph had left his T-phone at home. After all, if Leo intended to leave, he'd definitely ditch the one device that could be used to track him. It seemed only reasonable that Raph had actually left for good this time, and it made a knot form in the pit of Leo's stomach. A part of him was angry with Raphael for abandoning them, but another, much larger, part was consumed with guilt. He knew that the fights between them had been getting out of hand, but he never considered that Raph would desert them. They were brothers, and Leonardo had always believed that despite everything that bond would always keep them together. He could see now how that notion was utterly foolish, even if he wished otherwise.

XYZXYZ

They had been searching the sewers for hours, and Mikey was starting to get a little nervous.

They had already checked all of the routes Raph would normally take while cooling off, and they still had yet to discover any sign of him. Mikey had already bothered Leo numerous times about the possibility that Raph was already back at the lair and wondering where the others were, but, for whatever reason, Leo seemed absolutely dead set against that idea. It was as if Leonardo knew something that Mikey didn't - not that that was unusual - but Michelangelo couldn't figure out why Leo was so convinced that Raph was still out here somewhere, especially when there didn't appear to be any proof.

Mikey glanced over at Leo for the hundredth time since they had left the lair, and tried not to let his own distress show. Raphael had disappeared a lot before, but never like this. For starters, he was never gone this long, and, for another thing, there were always certain areas that he would be found lurking around when he needed to get away. Mikey struggled to keep from thinking about all of the terrible things that could have happened to Raph - like being eaten by mutated turtle-eating moss, or sewer slugs, or something as equally horrific - but every time he told himself not to think about it something worse popped into his head.

Michelangelo hung back, and strived to keep his fears to himself. After all, Leo was unmistakably upset enough for all three of them. The fact that he would periodically hiss out, "Where is he?" in a venomous tone as they continued through various passageways was all the proof that Mikey needed of that. It was evident that Leonardo was masking his concern with exasperation and resentment, just as he always did when Raph was involved. Mikey was just about to ask for the twenty-seventh time if maybe one of them should head back towards the lair to see if Raph had headed home when Donnie started to rant about various types of pipes used in the sewers and the difference between them all. Mikey knew that rambling about facts was Donnie's way of coping with any type of stress, and it only got worse when the thing that was causing him stress was one of them, but it didn't make it any less boring.

Michelangelo abruptly stopped following the other two when he saw something strange down a side tunnel. He felt almost drawn toward the odd looking shadow being cast upon the sewer walls, unsure of what could possibly cause such an unusual silhouette. Without even thinking, he reached for his nunchucks, gripping them tightly, as he inched his way down the passageway, staying close to the opposite wall that the shade was stretched across. When he got to the end of the tunnel, Mikey jumped out with a loud cry of, "Booyakasha!" only to stumble backwards and fall onto his butt at the sight before him. He sat there for a long moment, staring wide-eyed, before taking the only action he could think of…screaming at the top of his lungs for the other two. "Guys, you better get over here! NOW!"

XYZ

Leo immediately spun around at the sound of Mikey's frantic voice, and raced to his little brother's side. Donnie followed behind him at an equally swift pace, and when their eyes fell upon the scene that had Mikey so terrified, Donnie instantly fell to his knees and began examining the crumbled form in front of them, while Leonardo did his best to stay standing and appear unaffected by the sight before them. He tried desperately to swallow down the lump in his throat at the vision of Raphael lying in a pile of trash, cradling Spike in his arm, and looking absolutely terrible. In fact, Raph looked as though he went up against The Shredder by himself. The thought chilled Leo to the bone. He honestly didn't put such brazen behavior past Raph, but Leo couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why Raphael would have Spike with him. It didn't make any sense…unless, of course, Leo was right all along, and Raph had intended to ditch them for good this time.

He endeavored to keep that thought to himself as he stood silently watching as Donatello checked over Raph. He was honestly afraid to ask the question that had been nagging at him since they had stumbled across Raphael, but Leo knew that someone had to voice the one thought that no one wanted to acknowledge. "Don, is he…?" He couldn't bring himself to say it, not when he glanced down to see tears brimming in Mikey's eyes at the prospect.

"He's alive, but I won't know the full extent of the damage until we get him back to the lair." Donnie didn't take his eyes away from Raphael as he answered in a voice that didn't sound very reassuring.

"But he'll be okay, right, D?" The desperation and hope in Michelangelo's voice had Leo silently begging that Don would answer in the affirmative, if only to keep Mikey from falling apart right now.

Donnie shook his head, seemingly unaware of what the other two needed to hear in this instance. "I'm not sure, Mikey. Some of these wounds are pretty serious, and he's been out here a long time. He'll definitely need some stitches, and the risk of infection is rather high, and…" Donnie suddenly trailed off as his eyes fell onto Raphael's blood soaked foot. "He…his foot was punctured cleanly through…the damage could be extensive."

Leonardo could tell that Donnie was lost in thought, mostly speaking to himself now as he made plans and tried to infer what the most likely repercussions of Raph's injuries were, but he could also see how Donatello's words were affecting Mikey. It was apparent that if Leo didn't do something soon, then Mikey was going to break down, and it would be that much harder to get them all back home. He cleared his throat to make it easier to speak past the sudden tightness there. "Let's worry about all of that once we get him home. Donnie, can you figure out the best way for us to carry him, so we don't aggravate his injuries?"

"Unfortunately, the right side of his body seems to be where most of the damage occurred, so there really isn't a good way for us to do this. Not to mention, one of us is going to have to carry Spike, and I'd rather not run the risk of dropping either one of them, so it seems only two of us will be able to carry Raph, which really only leaves us with one option."

Leonardo grimaced as he realized what Donnie was trying to convey. They were going to have to support Raph by placing his arms over two of their shoulders and practically dragging him the whole way. Leo would have protested the idea, if he had any other way of getting Raphael back to the lair. After all, even Leo could see that Raph's right arm and leg were too injured for such a move to be good for him. "Okay, I'll take his wounded arm. Mikey, get on his other side and try to take as much of his weight as you can. Donnie, you grab Spike."

The other two nodded as Donnie gently lifted Spike out of Raphael's arm, and then moved aside so the other two could lift Raph up. Michelangelo curled himself into the space under Raph's good arm, and then waited for Leo to get a good grip around Raph's shell before they heaved him up. Donnie gestured for the two of them to go first, so he could keep an eye on Raph, but they both simultaneously halted when they heard Don's large intake of breath. "What? What is it, Donnie?" The panic in his voice was evident to Leo's own ears, but he didn't actually care at that particular moment.

"Nothing…it's nothing…just keep going." The growl of irritation at Donatello's refusal to tell him what was going on was purely accidental, but it made Donnie continue talking, so Leo wasn't exactly remorseful. "There's…there's a large crack in his shell, and I'm not really sure how to go about fixing that. I mean, I noticed the chunk missing from his marginal scute, but that's not actually all that concerning, but the crack… I don't even know what caused that. I mean, it had to have been something that could generate an incredible amount of force, even with repeated blows…" Donnie suddenly trailed off, and Leo could only assume he was doing calculations in his head.

Leonardo could hear the dread in Donnie's voice before he stopped talking, and it made his stomach sink. He never remembered Donatello sounding so unsure before. Leo didn't know what to do, beyond press forward. "Worry about it when we get home, Donnie."

"Right, of course, Leo." Donnie's voice was clearly distracted, but he was keeping pace with them, so Leo couldn't complain…not when he was so consumed with his own thoughts. He vowed that when he found whoever or whatever had done this to his brother they would pay.

XYZXYZ

The trek to the lair was long and arduous, and Donnie winced every single time Raph's wounded foot grazed across the uneven and cracked cement of the ground. He spent the entire walk back cataloging Raphael's injuries and deciphering a plan to deal with all of them. Raph would have to be off of his right leg for a least a couple of weeks, and Donnie was sure that Raph wasn't going to be thrilled by that news. Still, the thing that drew Donatello's attention the most was the crack in Raph's shell. He didn't want to worry the others, so he didn't bother mentioning that the crack could lead to shell-rot, or even Septicaemic Cutaneous Ulcerative Disease, especially since they found Raphael sitting in trash.

When they finally arrived at the lair, Donnie had them gently place Raph on the metal table set up for this very purpose, and then he handed Spike over to Mikey as he began the onerous process of cleaning all of Raphael's wounds. Donnie wanted to make sure that he had the worst of Raph's lacerations cleaned, stitched, and wrapped before he tried to figure out how badly his wrist and hand were broken, and then he had to figure out what was wrong with Raph's knee. He knew he was going to need Leonardo's help with all of those things, but Donnie wanted to hold off on that for as long as possible, because one look at Leo made it apparent that his brother was not dealing with any of this well. Donatello didn't have a good way to help Leo, so he did what he did best…found something else to focus on.

Throwing a towel in Leo's face, Donnie gestured to Raph. "Go run that under hot water and start cleaning Raph's wounded foot. Once you're done, slather this on the affect area, and then do the same with his left calf, and then you can clean his plastron and the rest of him." Donnie handed Leo a bottle of chlorhexidine solution, and silently thanked April for procuring it, and many other medical supplies, for him.

Leonardo gazed off into the distance as he took the bottle and wash cloth from Donnie and wordlessly followed Donatello's instructions. Donnie sighed to himself as he focused on the rest of the lacerations covering Raph's arms, legs, and face. He wasn't exactly sure what had happened to Raphael's lips, but it looked as though someone had quite literally shoved a sword in his mouth. The very thought of that experience made Donnie wince in sympathy as he carefully cleaned his brother's beak. Donatello couldn't even fathom who could be this cruel. Surely, even The Foot wouldn't have seen it necessary to slice open his brother's mouth.

He silently began stitching up the deeper gashes covering Raph's thighs and arms, before moving on to his calf and foot, knowing that Leo was just standing beside him waiting for more information on how to help and if Raphael would be okay. Leonardo may be their leader, but when it came to medical stuff he was practically clueless, and Don could definitely tell that this gap in his knowledge was suddenly killing him.

Donnie paused in what he was doing momentarily to glance up at Leo. "You know how to fix a dislocated shoulder, Leo. I mean, it's not like you haven't done it before." He spoke in the calmest tone that he could muster, and waited until Leonardo moved towards Raph's arm before returning to suturing Raphael's calf.

Don moved on to Raph's knee next, trying to figure out how bad it was. He could tell just by looking at it that the knee cap had been dislocated. He just hoped that he would be able to manipulate the knee cap back into place without surgery, and then he would have to figure out some way to create a brace for him. Donnie knew that he had his work cut out for him, but he was confident that he could handle it. He focused solely on the task in front of him in order to block out the sound of both Leo popping Raph's joint back into place and Mikey's distressed whine at the loud noise it made. Donatello knew that that particular sound was going to be far easier to stomach for all of them than the sound of setting Raph's fractured bones, but he didn't see any reason to inform the other two of that.

XYZXYZ

Mikey turned away from his brothers and distracted himself with trying to coax Spike out of his shell. He knew that the little guy was probably really worried about Raph - just like the rest of them - but he still desperately wanted to see the non-mutant turtle's face. Raphael always felt better after spending time with Spike, and right now all Mikey wanted was a little of that comfort, too. However, Spike seemed determined to stay in his shell. It made Michelangelo fret and wonder if there was something wrong with Spike too, but he didn't want to divert Donnie's attention from helping Raph.

He quickly slipped out of the room and down to the kitchen to grab some lettuce leaves for Spike. He made his way back into Donnie's lab as he dangled a leaf in front of Spike. Mikey couldn't handle watching them as they set Raphael's broken bones, so he turned away from them. However, that wasn't enough to drown out the sounds behind him, so Michelangelo did the only thing that he could think of…he began talking to Spike, knowing that he could never mock Raph for this very same act ever again. "Hey, little guy. Come on, you can come out now. It's just us. Don't worry. Donnie is going to make Raph all better, you'll see. Just come on out. I've got some nice tasty leaves for you. We all know how much you love leaves." After a while, Mikey began to repeat his tender words over and over again as he gently dragged the leaf over Spike's shell in an attempt to entice him to poke his head out.

After about an hour of this, Donnie's exasperated voice ground out through clenched teeth. "Mikey, that is _not_ helping!"

Mikey ducked his head sheepishly, still facing away from his brothers and whatever they were doing to Raph now. "Sorry, D. I was just trying to reassure Spike that everything's going to be okay."

Donnie sighed heavily, and even Mikey could recognize exhaustion when he heard it. "I know, but he's evidently not coming out. Just place him in the tank over on my desk with some leaves, and hopefully he'll come out and eat something when he's hungry, and then come over here and give us a hand."

Michelangelo did as he was told, glancing dejectedly at the non-mutant turtle - still hidden in his shell - before turning back towards Leo and Donnie, only to gasp in shock. "What are you two doing?"

They had propped Raphael up onto his uninjured side after placing his right hand in a cast that went all the way up to his elbow. "We have to clean his shell tremendously well before I can dress the crack with fine gauze. I'd like to eventually fill it with epoxy to keep it from becoming a target to our enemies, but that can't happen until there's no longer a risk of shell-rot or SCUD, which means we'll have to keep it clean and dry. I'm sure Raph will take the news that we're going to have to regularly wash his shell for him well." Donnie rolled his eyes as he continued to scrub down Raphael's shell.

"Okay, and you want me to do what?"

Donnie heaved another large sigh, obviously showing his exasperation at having to explain everything, but Mikey could see the clear signs of concern as well. Whatever SCUD was, Michelangelo could tell that it was bad. "Help Leo keep Raph on his side, mind his injured arm, leg, and side though. He's got a few broken ribs, and unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that, but let them heal."

Mikey nodded as he positioned himself in the right spot to help without hurting Raphael further. "Hey, Donnie?" Once Donnie's eyes met his, Mikey continued. "What's SCUD?"

Donnie shook his head as he glanced away. "Don't worry about it, Mikey. If we do this right, then it won't be something we need to worry about."

Mikey wasn't sure how true that was, but Donnie was stressed enough as it was, so, for once, he didn't push it. Instead, Mikey simply remained silent as he held Raph in place, struggling to pretend that this was just another training exercise and Raphael would be up punching his bag the moment they were done. As he glanced down at the cast around Raph's arm, Mikey knew it would be a long time before Raph was punching anything with that hand.

XYZXYZ

Leo sat in a chair at the foot of the metal table Raph was laying on, waiting for his brother to awaken. It had taken Leonardo over an hour to convince Donnie to get some rest, instead of researching shell-rot and all of the complications that could arise from Raph's various injuries as well as making plans for some kind of knee brace. He knew the research was necessary, but there was no point in it when Donnie was so exhausted, overworked, and unfocused. The last thing they needed was for an overwrought Donatello to mix up bottles while administering medication to Raph and end up hurting him worse.

Leonardo suddenly slumped further in his chair, desperately trying to keep his eyes open. The day's events had taken just as much out of him as everyone else, and without the task of bandaging Raphael to distract him, Leo found himself drifting into a light slumber, only to jerk himself awake again moments later. He wouldn't let himself sleep…not until he was sure that Raph was really okay. Though, if Leo was honest with himself, he feared slipping into a deep sleep for more than one reason. He didn't want to see what horrors his mind could concoct for what had happened to Raphael. He couldn't imagine what kind of trouble his brother had gotten himself into in order to end up as badly wounded as he was. After all, this was brutal, even for The Foot or the Kraang.

Leo stood and began pacing the length of Donnie's lab, in an attempt to keep himself awake. His circuit through the lab brought him over to where Spike sat in the tank on Donnie's desk and Leonardo paused as he noticed the non-mutant turtle still hadn't left the safety of his shell. "You're worried about him too, huh, little guy?" He reached into the tank to comfort the little turtle, but immediately snatched his hand back when he heard Raph's voice screaming behind him.

"No! No! Get away from him!"

"Raph, what's wrong?" Leo ran to his brother's side, only to have Raphael violently pull away from him.

"Spike, give me Spike!" There was anger in Raph's voice, but not nearly enough to cover up the genuine fear.

Leo took a step back, hoping to calm his volatile brother. "Raph, it's okay. You're home now. It's okay."

"No, it's not! Give me Spike!"

He didn't want to hand Spike over to Raphael for fear that Raph would either end up hurting himself or his pet. After all, he had a very limited range of motion, thanks to all of the bandages and the cast. However, before Leo could say or do anything Donatello burst into the lab.

XYZXYZ

"What's going on in here?" Donnie glanced from Leo to Raph and back again. Raph looked as if he was trying with every ounce of energy he had to get away and Leo seemed too distraught from Raphael's outburst to do more than stare.

"Spike!" Raph shouted for his pet as he reached with his good arm toward the other turtle, who was still sitting in the tank Donnie had made Mikey place him in earlier.

Donnie turned towards the tank, unsure if something had changed in the other turtle's health, but when he turned, he found the little non-mutant turtle had merely stuck his head out of his shell, clearly disturbed by all of the commotion. "Spike is fine, Raph."

"No, you give him to me! You give him to me, RIGHT NOW!" Raphael struggled to get up, but before he could get very far both Donnie and Leo moved to hold him down.

"Raph, stop! You'll only hurt yourself more." Donnie was desperately trying to find some way to hold his brother down that wouldn't aggravate his injuries.

"I don't care. Give me Spike!" Raph spat as he thrashed in their grasps.

"Why? Did something happen to him when you went topside? Ending up like this wasn't enough for you, you had to endanger your pet as well?" Leo suddenly yelled into Raph's face, which only made Donnie want to smack their leader.

"Leo, now is really not the time for this." Donnie was about to say more when Leo cut him off.

"No, Donnie, if his stupidity got Spike hurt or something, we need to know about it."

They could hear Raphael growling out something, but it was drowned out by the sound of Mikey's voice as he unexpectedly exploded into the room. "Whoa dudes, what's going on?

The momentary distraction of Mikey's entrance was all that Raph needed as his thrashing increased and he abruptly pulled away from his brothers, toppling off of the table and onto the floor, landing hard on his already battered shell.

Donatello winced at the sound of a loud crack as Raph's shell hit the floor. He wasn't sure how extensive the damage could get before it became life threatening, but he was sure that nothing good could come from Raphael's fall. "Mikey, come help Leo with Raph, while I get something to calm him down."

The moment that Leo and Mikey laid their hands on Raph, attempting to help him up, the other turtle began to scream at them once again. "Get off of me! Get off…get away from me! Just give me Spike and let me go!"

"It's okay, buddy. We're just trying to help you." Donnie spoke as he quickly grabbed the right vile and filled a syringe. "Hold him still, guys."

"We're trying, D!" Mikey yelled back as Donnie inched his way closer to them. He waited for an opening, before quickly jabbing the needle into Raph's left thigh. It only took a few moments before Raphael's struggles subsided. "What was that?"

Donnie sighed as the three of them heaved a now docile Raphael back onto the metal table. "A strong sedative."

"What was that about?" Leo demanded once they got Raph settled into some restraints in case he awoke again and responded the same way.

"I think he wanted Spike." Mikey answered quickly, and both Leo and Donnie glared at him. Sometimes their brother could be truly obtuse.

Leonardo glanced over to Donnie, evidently awaiting an answer - one that Donnie didn't have. "I don't know, Leo. Did he say anything when he woke up?"

Leo shook his head. "No, he just started screaming for Spike. Maybe you should check Spike out for anything odd. Maybe something happened to him, though he seems fine."

Donatello nodded as he began thinking about all of the tests that he would have to run on Spike. "We should also check the security footage from the tunnel we found Raph in. I might be able to retrace his steps and figure out what happened to him."

"Wait, we have security footage from the sewer tunnels?" Mikey randomly broke into the conversation.

Donnie slapped a hand to his face in dismay at their most immature brother. "Yes, Mikey, what do you think we were doing when I had you guys place those cameras around the lair and sewers last month?"

Mikey shrugged as he retrieved Spike from the tank on Donnie's desk. "I don't know. I was too busy imaging how cool pizza aliens would be."

"Pizza aliens? You know what…no…I don't want to know." Donatello shook his head at the mental image Mikey's rambling had conjured. "We need to figure out why Raph wanted Spike so badly."

"Maybe it was a cockroach." Donnie and Leo both glared at Mikey's suggestion. "What? The only time Raph ever freaks out is when there's a cockroach…or maybe it was mutant earth worm…or…"

"Have you been reading my entomology books again?" Donnie cut Mikey off before he could build himself up to a full blown rant.

"Yeah, but there are no bugs anywhere, Mikey," Leo interjected. "Plus, he usually calms down once he's away from the insects."

"Aww, dudes, maybe he just wanted Spike for comfort. How cute is that? He just wanted his pet."

"Yeah right, Mikey." Donnie rolled his eyes at the very idea. "When has Raph ever sought any form of comfort?"

Leonardo sighed heavily. "Look, sitting here speculating isn't going to help any. Donnie, check Raph over and make sure he didn't exacerbate his injuries, and then look over Spike. Mikey, you're coming with me. We're gonna head back to where we found Raph and see if we can find any clues as to what happened to him. When we get back, we'll all go over the security footage."

Donnie nodded as he started to reexamine all of Raphael's wounds as the other two left the lab. He was relieved that beyond a few new splotches of blood Raph hadn't seemed to worsen his already precarious state too much. His inspection of Spike led to nothing out of the ordinary, which only exasperated the genius further. None of this made any sense, and the lack of answers was really starting to aggravate the tallest turtle.

XYZXYZ

Leonardo stalked through the various sewer tunnels, with Mikey slowly following behind him, until they came to the spot where they had found Raph. He gestured for Michelangelo to search the area where the water slowly trickled down, while Leo investigated the garbage heap they had discovered Raph leaning against. There were no signs of a fight, and Raph's sais were nowhere in sight, which left Leo wondering if the entire fight had happened topside. There also wasn't any indication of where Raph had come from, so there was no way to narrow down the location of the fight, and the two of them certainly couldn't search the entire city for evidence that was most likely just as degraded from humans and the environment as the sewers were.

The two of them scrutinize the entire area for over an hour, only finding dried blood and not much more. Unfortunately, due to the water sluggishly filtering down, there wasn't much of a blood trail to follow. The lack of answers, while disquieting, wasn't a surprise. Leo honestly hadn't expected to find much here. As worried as he was when they first came across Raphael, he did actually take a moment to look around before they dragged Raph back to the lair. Before Mikey could start complaining that they had been at this forever, Leo gestured for them to head back. Hopefully by now, Donnie had finished with his examination of both Raphael and Spike and had started on reviewing the security footage.

XYZXYZ

Donatello sat in his chair in front of his computer, shaking and failing to suppress his sobs. He couldn't believe what he had seen or what they had done. As soon as he saw himself using his bo staff against his brother - and not even bothering to pull his blows - he knew exactly which injuries he had inflicted on Raph, and it made him sick. It didn't matter if he knew it was because of the mutagen. He had still hurt his brother in unspeakable ways. It was no wonder Raphael had responded the way that he had when he awoke…not after all of the things they had said. The fact that Donnie was responsible for Raph's dislocated knee and his broken hand made him curl in on himself more. It had felt so surreal watching himself inflict those injuries on his toughest brother, especially when he had no memory of doing so. It was like watching a doppelganger, but Donnie knew it was really them the whole time. After all, a doppelganger never could have known the things they had.

Donnie didn't know how to react to everything he had seen, beyond simply hating himself for not realizing that those particular injuries could have only been caused by a bo staff, in the first place. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly against the repeating mental image of the three of them splitting open Raphael's shell, but it didn't help. He could hear all of the terrible things that they had all shouted at Raph replaying in his mind over and over again, and the only thing that broke up the cycle was the loud cracking sound Raph's shell had made when it fractured open. He knew he had begun to rock back and forth slightly, wanting nothing more than to forget everything he had witnessed, but it didn't help.

Donatello knew that he needed to start doing various tests to make sure the mutagen was completely out of their systems now, but, with the other two still out and Donnie unsure if he could even hold a syringe steady, there really was no point. He glanced over at Raph - who was still lying unconscious from the sedative - and wondered if there was even a way for them to fix this. Sure, physically, given enough time and proper care, Raphael would heal, but mentally…well, that was another story entirely. Donnie couldn't imagine Raph ever really trusting them again…not after this, and he certainly didn't expect Raph to ever treat them the same again. They had brutalized their own brother, and then, upon his awakening, had acted as if his injuries were his own fault. As far as Donatello was concerned, there probably wasn't a good way for them to help with Raph's nonphysical wounds. That, however, didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

Don was working on creating some kind of game plan on how to tend to Raph's physical wounds long term, as well as address the obvious mental and emotional wounds they had caused their capricious brother, when he was startled by a hand on his shoulder. "Donnie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Donatello quickly reached up to wipe away the tears that he hadn't even noticed he had still been shedding as he spun his chair around to face Leo. He wasn't really sure how to answer his leader's question. The other two needed to know what they had all done - even if Donnie knew how much it would hurt them to know - but he didn't have the words to convey everything. "I…we…it was…" His voice suddenly cut off as his throat closed up, and no matter how hard he tried Donnie couldn't get anymore words out, so instead he turned back toward his computer and began to replay the footage from the beginning. He wasn't sure if it would be worse seeing the events in order. After all, Donnie had to retrace Raphael's steps, and watching everything backwards had been hard, since he had to piece together what was happening and why. Still, Don was aware that seeing this wasn't going to be easy for any of them - himself included - even if he had already seen it once.

XYZXYZ

Mikey glanced back and forth between Leo and Donnie, unsure of what was going on. He didn't understand why Donnie was shaking. After all, he couldn't think of anything that had ever upset his genius brother this much, but he knew whatever it was wasn't going to be something they could handle alone. The thought made Michelangelo miss Master Splinter more than he had the entire time his sensei had been gone. "Come on, D. What is it?"

Donnie merely shook his head and gestured at the computer screen in front of them. Mikey nudged the other two out of the way enough that he could squeeze between them. He didn't know what to expect, but seeing himself taunting Raph wasn't exactly on the top of his list. He watched the screen, completely silent for once in his life. He didn't even remember Raphael coming home, but, as he listened to everything that he had apparently said to Raph, Mikey's stomach churned. He loved to tease Raph, especially about his habit of talking to his pet, but not like that…never like that. He would never hurt any of his brothers…not really. At least, Michelangelo never intended to. "I...but I don't remember this."

Donnie swallowed hard, making his throat click a few times, before he was finally able to speak. "None of us do, Mikey."

Mikey's hands flew up in front of his mouth as he gasped in shock as he watched himself haphazardly throw Spike toward his other brothers. He honestly couldn't believe what he was seeing. "I…how could I…why did I…but…"

Leonardo's own intake of breath as he observed himself jostling Spike from one hand to the other suddenly cut off Mikey's rambling. "This…what is this? This isn't real, right, Donnie?

"It's real, Leo. It's us. We…we did this." He gestured to Raph, though Mikey was sure none of them took their eyes away from the screen.

"How could we have been so cruel?" Leo's voice sounded strained and a bit lost as he continued. "Why did this happen? Why don't we remember it?"

Donnie sniffed a few times before responding. "It was the failed retro-mutagen that got on us earlier. It's the only explanation."

Mikey ignored the other two as they started discussing the science involved. His focus was completely on the screen in front of him. He winced when he saw his weapon crash into his brother's shoulder, and shuddered at the sound it made when a piece of Raphael's marginal scute broke off and the shoulder dislocated. The sound of that, however, was nothing in comparison to the deafening snap of Mikey's nunchucks breaking Raph's wrist. He never wanted to be the cause of such damage to any of his brothers. Mikey was still having a hard time believing what he was seeing, even with all of the evidence laid out in front of him.

In addition to all of the injuries he had caused, he couldn't understand why he had said any of the nasty things he had to Raph. It wasn't as if he had ever even so much as thought them before. He loved his brother, and Mikey would be heartbroken if Raph ever truly left them after a fight. He loved spending time with all of his brothers, but especially Raphael. It was why he pranked Raph the most out of all of his brothers and was especially annoying when Raphael looked like he needed a distraction from whatever was going on inside his head. Mikey knew that they all got on each other's nerves, and that's why Raph stormed out so often, but that didn't mean that he didn't miss his brother when Raph wasn't around.

XYZXYZ

Leo watched in an almost haze as his own swords cut into the flesh of his most volatile brother. He should have realized the moment that they first discovered Raph that those wounds could only have been caused by a katana, but then he guessed that maybe he didn't want to focus on that. After all, there aren't many swordsmen who could have landed that many hits on Raphael, even when the other turtle was in a blinding rage. Leo really didn't want to watch this fight - not when he knew it was only going to get worse, but he couldn't look away - not when the only other sight was his broken brother lying unconscious beside them. It was fairly easy to decipher which wounds they had all caused now that he knew the three of them were responsible for Raph's injuries. The thought made Leo's throat burn and he had to swallow down the sudden bile. When his brother finally returned to consciousness, he had blamed Raphael for the very wounds they had inflicted. Leo knew that no apology could ever be sufficient enough for what he had done…for what they had all done.

He wanted to shut his eyes against the sight of Raph struggling to clutch the handle of his sai, despite the obvious pain it caused him, only to have Donnie break his hand, but that was nothing compared to the vision of Leo facing off against his brother one on one with an expression of absolute hatred plastered on his face. None of that, however, distracted from what Leo witnessed next. He gazed at the screen in stunned silence as he watched himself shift into a position that he would only use for a downward thrust, but that would only be useful for…his thoughts trailed off as he saw his own katana pierce his brother's foot, pinning him to the floor before Donnie slammed into him.

Leonardo trembled when he heard his own voice spout terrible lies and tried to block out the vile words, but he knew they would haunt him for a long time. He couldn't believe that he had brought Master Splinter into his jeers, but more-so he couldn't fathom why Raphael had actually believed him. It was evident by the expression on his brother's face, but Leo had thought that Raph knew better than that. Their sensei loved all of them equally. Surely, even Raph knew that, but as Leo watched Raphael's face crumble at the thought of being nothing more than a burden to his family Leonardo had to wonder just how much damage they had wreaked upon their once proud brother.

XYZXYZ

Donnie had given up on wiping the tears away and instead let them fall unabashedly. He wanted to comfort the other two, but he just couldn't…not after seeing this for a second time. He knew they hadn't even gotten to the worst of it yet, and he really didn't want to witness Mikey's and Leo's reactions to what the two of them had put Raph through. Not that he was blameless in all of this. After all, beyond all of the physical and psychological torment that Donatello had put his most tenacious brother through, he was still the one who had held Raphael down for the other two. His gaze fell to his hands as he listened to himself blame Raph for their father's sudden visit to Japan, which was absolutely preposterousness. They all knew why Splinter had left, so Donnie couldn't for the life of him comprehend why it seemed as though Raph actually agreed with his absurd accusations.

XYZXYZ

Mikey was trembling as he saw himself holding one of Raph's weapons against Spike as he threatened to skewer the non-mutant turtle. Michelangelo loved Raph, and had always found his brother's bond with his pet to be adorable. The little turtle made his brother so happy that Mikey couldn't imagine hurting him. The obvious fact that he had done just that was beyond repulsive. He really didn't know how he was going to make this up to both his brother and Spike. Mikey didn't have a lot of time to really consider his options, however, because his attention was drawn back to the computer screen when he saw himself grasping a cockroach, and he honestly couldn't believe his ears when he heard himself say that he was going to feed it to Raph. Surely, it was a joke…a really terrible joke that he never would have made had he been in his right mind.

He glanced over to Leo and then to Don for confirmation. "No, I…I wouldn't…I didn't…there's no way..." He trailed off when Donnie didn't say anything. Michelangelo had always found his irritable brother's phobia to be a bit silly. After all, Raph wasn't afraid of much, but a tiny insect could make him shriek. It was definitely a little funny, but he would never use his brother's fear against him in such a way. He stared wide-eyed as he watched himself inch closer to Raphael. "No…please no. Donnie, tell me I didn't do that, bro."

Again, Donatello said nothing, but he didn't have to say anything. Even without Don's silence, Mikey knew what was going to happen, and he honestly didn't think that he could handle watching it. He tried to look away, but it didn't stop his mind from conjuring the image of him standing over his brother with a malicious grin on his face, dangling a cockroach in front of Raphael. He didn't think Raph would ever forgive him for this one, even if the failed retro-mutagen was to blame. Mikey could feel the tears slowly seeping out of his eyes, but he didn't care if his brothers saw him cry…not after what he did. As far as he was concerned, at the very least, he deserved to be mocked and pummeled.

XYZXYZ

The sound of Donnie dislocating Raph's knee couldn't distract Leo from the image of him reaching up for his sword, and he gasped in absolute horror as he watch himself slide his katana between his brother's lips, forcing them open so Michelangelo could shove the cockroach into his mouth. He gagged at the very idea of what Raph must have felt. They had forced him to endure his worst fear, and yet so much more. He watched as his brother's expression contorted into one of terror as Leonardo held his hands over his brother's beak, and the look in Raph's eyes was what drove Leo over the edge. He couldn't hold back the bile anymore. Just as the Raphael on screen broke away from Leo and managed to vomit all over himself, Leonardo fell to his knees and heaved all of his stomach contents onto the floor. Tears blurred his vision as his throat burned and his stomach cramped, but that pain was miniscule in comparison to that caused by the knowledge of what they had done. He listened to the sounds of his brother retching on screen as he tried to calm himself enough to get back to his feet, but just when he thought they couldn't possibly have hurt their brother anymore Leo was proven wrong.

Seeing his sword pierce through Raph's calf muscle shouldn't have been worse than any of the other injuries they had delivered, and yet somehow it made Leonardo's stomach turn even more. However, it still didn't measure up to the insults they threw at Raph as they continued to attack him. They had used every single one of Raphael's insecurities against him, and the worst part was that Raph believed they meant every word of it. It made Leo hate himself all the more. He watched silently as his other two brothers wept, but the abrupt sound of Raph's shell cracking open had all three of them cringing. Leonardo knew from the beginning that it had taken all three of them to cause that particular wound; however, he still wasn't prepared to see it play out in front of him. What he hadn't been aware of, however, was all of the terrible things they had said. After all, how could he have called his brother a bad ninja? Raph was the strongest fighter out of the four of them, and he worked hard for every ounce of muscle on him. Leo hung his head in shame at their actions, unsure if it was even possible to repair the damage they had done.

He stared wide-eyed as he saw himself ruthlessly kick Raph into the waterway before dropping Spike in after him. Leo honestly had to wonder if the failed retro-mutagen was completely to blame or if it had merely awoken a darker part of himself that was always there. After all, he fought with Raphael all of the time and he often wondered if maybe they wouldn't be better off if Raph wasn't around all of the time, but Leonardo never wanted to cause his brother harm. He just wished that his brother would listen to him more frequently. Although, perhaps that was merely the lie that he fed himself. As he watched the Donnie on the screen collect Raph's sais and toss them into the waterway as well, Leo decided to keep those particular thoughts to himself.

XYZXYZ

Donatello heaved a heavy sigh and tried to control his quivering bottom lip as his other two brothers dispersed. He wanted to offer some form of comfort, but he didn't know how. There were no words for what they had done, and no amount of physical affection was going to help any of them feel better. All he could do was run more tests to make sure there would never be any kind of repeat incident and clean his lab. After that he returned to his forgotten plans for Raph's knee brace, and then his research. Donnie had to make sure that he had a contingency plan for any and all complications that could arise from the various wounds he and his brothers had inflicted upon their cantankerous sibling. He flipped through various pages of medical jargon, desperately attempting to distract himself from what they had done, until he heard a strange dripping sound from behind him. Don spun his chair around to find Mikey standing in his doorway, drenched from head to toe, clutching Raphael's sais in his hands, and just staring glassy-eyed at his still unconscious brother. "Mikey, what are you doing?"

Michelangelo shook his head violently before holding up Raph's sais. "I got them back for him. I know he won't be able to use 'em for a while, but I thought it was the least I could do."

Donnie couldn't help the small upturn of his lips at his most juvenile brother's thinking. "That was nice of you, Mikey."

Mikey shook his head again as he frowned at Don, which made the smartest turtle pause. "No…no, it wasn't. I had to, D. I just had to."

Donnie stared despondently at his distraught sibling. "I know, Mikey. I know."

Mikey swiftly dropped Raphael's weapons and rushed over to wrap Donnie in a tight hug. "He'll hate us forever."

Donnie returned the embrace just as strongly. He felt the same way, but that was the last thing that his younger brother needed to hear right now. "We'll explain about the mutagen. It'll be okay." He didn't really believe his own words, but he couldn't stand to see his most blithe brother so distressed. "I promise, Mikey, the four of us will get through this. It's not like any of us meant what we said, right?"

"Absolutely not!" Mikey's face was buried in his brother's plastron, yet his words were loud and clear. "I would hate it if Raph left for good. Who would I prank all the time? And who would chase me around the liar after I prank him? I mean, you and Leo are great, but you two don't react like Raphie."

Donnie chuckled softly. "I understand, Mikey. Why don't you go pick up Raph's sais and put them on the desk next to Spike's tank? And then the two of us will start working on ideas on how to convince Raph that it was all the failed retro-mutagen's fault." He wasn't really sure that there was anything that the two of them could do, but Donnie figured that a Michelangelo with a mission was better than a Michelangelo drifting around aimlessly.

Mikey smiled brightly for the first time since that morning. "Sounds great, bro."

XYZXYZ

Leo attempted to mediate and clear his mind, but no matter what he tried he couldn't focus. Instead, the fight with Raph just kept replaying in his head. He knew that he had to find some way to remedy this, but he didn't even know where to begin. He had seen what they had wrought upon their brother, and not just physically. Raphael had believed their vile words, and Leo knew that there was no easy fix to that, but the three of them still had to find a way…nothing mattered more than that. Leonardo took a deep breath and tried for the thousandth time to empty his mind of all thought, but every time he closed his eyes Raph's face, staring up at him in pure devastation and acceptance, flooded his vision. He struggled repeatedly to find some form of inner peace and reach a true meditative state, but, after hours of failed attempts, Leo gave up on achieving his goal.

After abandoning meditation, Leo grabbed his swords and headed to the dojo. He figured that if he couldn't focus enough to meditate, then he should at least attempt to practice. Though, the thought of walking past Donnie's lab made the trek seem insurmountably daunting. Steeling himself, Leonardo wandered solemnly from his room to the dojo, forcing his gaze straight ahead, and never letting his eyes so much as glance in the direction of the lab. The moment he entered the dojo, Leo took his stance and began one of the most basic katas, hoping the familiar ease would calm him and allow him to get his mind under control. However, he faltered after the second kick and stopped completely after the first real strike brought forth images of him slicing into his own brother. It seemed as though nothing could distract him from thinking about it, and, as he remembered all of his brother's hurt and terrified expressions, Leonardo knew there was only one place he should be right now.

He left the dojo almost as quickly as he had entered it, hoping that seeing Raphael's still form would somehow lessen the burning shame that the image of his brother's confusion and betrayal had caused him. Though, at this point, Leo doubted that there was anything that could diminish that particular feeling. He silently entered Don's lab, not wanting to interrupt whatever Michelangelo and Donatello were doing. They were on the other side of the room, sitting nearly on top of each other, whispering back and forth about something. He wanted to ask them what they were up to, but as Leo glanced down at Raph - staring blankly at all of the bandages that covered his most argumentative brother - he just couldn't muster up the effort to speak.

Leonardo sank down into an empty chair by the metal table Raphael was strapped down to. He wanted nothing more than to bury his face in his hands, but instead he merely took a calming breath and waited. He wasn't exactly sure what he was waiting for - be it, Raph to stir, so the three of them could attempt to explain everything, or for the other two to inform him of what they were doing - but he really wasn't appreciating the time to think…not when his mind was just on a constant replay and the only real thought in his head was the simple question of how much was the mutagen really to blame for his actions and how much of that was really just his inner self coming out.

XYZXYZ

The swift intense pain and blinding light made his already throbbing head pound just that much more as Raphael fought off the grogginess that always followed after receiving some form of sedative. He tried to pull his arm up to block out the obnoxiously bright light, only to feel the heavy pull of metal against his wrist. The loud clang as his hand fell back to the metal table he was lying on made him wince in pain as his head throbbed more. Raph forced open his eyes, despite the burning sensation, and glanced around. He saw Mikey and Donnie on the other side of the room, facing away from him, but Leo was sitting in front of him. Immediately, Raphael began struggling to get away. He knew he had to find some way out of here before his brothers attacked again. However, Raph didn't really see that happening. He had been in this position enough to know that there was no way out of the metal cuffs without some form of assistance, and, since his brothers were responsible for his current predicament, Raph knew that he was on his own.

His brothers were unexpectedly all around him, trying to talk over his grunts of pain, but Raphael ignored them. He didn't want to hear whatever they had to say, anyway…not after everything they had already said earlier. He growled out of frustration when he felt one of the metal cuffs cut into the flesh of his good hand, but he kept desperately tugging at the restraints. Raph turned his head to the side, only to see his sais lying on Donnie's desk next to the tank that held Spike. All of his struggling abruptly stopped as the air rushed out of him at the sight. A cold feeling of dread fell over him as Raphael realized he was truly helpless for the first time in his life, and there was nothing stopping them from skewering Spike with his own weapons this time. "Don't…don't hurt Spike." The words slipped out without a single thought, but he meant them full-heartedly.

"Relax, we…we wouldn't do that, bro. We…" Mikey trailed off, seemingly lost for words.

Raph laughed caustically. There was a time when he would have believed that. Hell, he wanted nothing more than to believe it now, but how could he after everything? "You already have."

Silence enveloped the room, only broken by the sound of Raph's renewed thrashing. Donnie was the only one who attempted to put an end to it, however, by placing a hand on Raphael's shoulder. They both ignored how he flinched away from the touch, hissing in pain as he jarred his injured body further. "Raph, it's more complicated than that."

Raph glared at his brother, still pulling at the restraints and wanting nothing more than to break the hand that was touching him. He had to get away from them. This was a trick. He just knew this was a trick and he needed to get Spike out of here as quickly as possible. "It always is, isn't it, Donnie-boy?"

Donatello's free hand covered his eyes as he sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry, Raph." Raph could tell that Donnie was trying to fight down a sob, which only made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. Whatever this was leading to, Raphael was sure it was somehow going to be worse than the beating. "You have to understand that what…what we did…we…we didn't mean any of it. We weren't in our right minds. The failed retro-mutagen caused an adverse reaction that resulted in us attacking you."

Raph ground his teeth together at the explanation. He wanted to believe Donnie - after all, it wasn't as if it was new for one of his experiments to have ill effects - but a part of him just couldn't. He thought about his brothers' expressions, their attacks, and all of their insults, and he just couldn't believe that at least some of that wasn't true. "Fine, then let me out of the damn cuffs."

The three of them glanced at each other uncertainly for a long moment, none of them willing to make a decision one way or the other. Donatello gave him a remorseful look before shaking his head. "I want to…believe me, I do, but I also don't want you to hurt yourself more, and you have a bad habit of…"

Donnie was suddenly cut off by Raphael's feral growl as his thrashing picked up once again with far more vigor than he had exerted before. His brothers all took an instinctual step back at the enraged struggles and furious look in Raph's eyes. "Let me out! Haven't you done enough?" He didn't mean to say that last sentence, but it wasn't as if he didn't mean it. He stared down at his cast covered arm wondering if he could manage to get it out of the cuff if he broke the cast. Raph knew that it would hurt like hell, but if he could get away and get Spike, then the pain would be worth it. He pulled harder against the restraints, indifferent to the severe pain surging through his entire arm as he banged it against the metal cuff.

Instantly there were hands on his arm holding him down. "Stop it, Raph!" Leo was using his leader voice, but, at this point, that meant very little to Raphael. "Just stop! We'll let you out…just please, stop hurting yourself." His brother's voice unexpectedly dropped from his authoritative leader voice to something hollow and drained, and that more than anything made Raph still all over.

"Promise?" He couldn't keep the distrust from his voice, which made the others noticeably wince, but he didn't care. Raph just wanted off of the metal table and out of Donnie's lab.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, just… Don't go running off."

Raph didn't say anything as the three of them let him go, and Donatello released the restraints. He immediately sat up, grunting at the pain it caused him. "Now, give me Spike." He didn't address anyone in particular, but that was mostly because he didn't really want any of them anywhere near Spike, but he knew they weren't going to let him get up just yet.

Wordlessly Donnie reached into the tank and gently grabbed Spike. He handed him over to Raph, and the three of them watched silently as Raphael curled his good arm around his pet. He didn't care what the other three thought of him right now. He needed to make sure that Spike was okay. After Raph gave the non-mutant turtle a quick once over, he stared at each of his brothers for a long moment. "I want to go to my room." His voice didn't leave any room for dispute, not that it looked as though the other three were willing give him one anyway.

Leonardo glanced over to Donnie, who nodded. "Okay, we'll help you."

Raphael's eyes narrowed and he growled the moment any of them tried to get close to him. Donnie sighed. "There's no way you're going to be able to make it to your room by yourself with all of your injuries, and certainly not while you're clutching Spike."

Raph turned his body away from them as much as possible, protecting Spike as much as he could. He wasn't going to let any of them near his pet again…no matter what it took. "I'm not giving any of you Spike."

Donatello held up his hands in a pacifying gesture. "I'm not asking you to. Just let one of us help you to your room, so you don't exasperate your wounds. Please? You can pick whoever you want."

Donnie was out right pleading with him, but Raph still didn't trust them. For all he knew, the mutagen could still be affecting them. He glowered at all of them, trying to come up with another solution, but he knew there wasn't one. His entire body hurt more now than when he had passed out in the sewers, and he didn't want to end up hurting Spike. "Fine, you can help me." Normally, Raphael would have picked Leo, if they weren't having a fight, or Mikey if he didn't feel like getting lectured, but the last thing he wanted was to be alone with either of those two right now. Every time he looked at them, he thought about that cockroach.

Raph braced himself as Donnie moved over to his injured side, but, even knowing that the touch was coming, didn't stop him from cringing away slightly when Donatello gently grabbed his cast-clad arm and draped it over his shoulders. "You can't put any weight on that foot or the wound will open up again and I still need to make you a knee brace, got it?"

Raphael didn't say anything as he slowly slid off of the metal table, still holding Spike close to him and making sure that his punctured foot didn't touch the ground. His ribs screamed in protest every time he inhaled, but Raph kept that discomfort to himself. He reluctantly leaned heavily on Donnie as the two of them gradually shuffled out of Don's lab. The trek to his room felt like it took forever, and by the time Donatello finally placed him down on his bed, Raph was panting from the exertion. He pushed himself back until his shell rested against the wall - and recoiled in pain as the crack in his shell scraped against the wall - but he had a clear view of the door, so it was worth it. He could tell that Donnie wanted to do that whole fretting over him thing that Don always did when one of them was hurt, but his brother was keeping his distance, which suited Raphael just fine.

He couldn't deal with any of them being near him right now. "You can go now."

Donnie looked as though he wanted to say something, but instead he merely nodded before turning to leave. Raph glanced down at Spike - who was just sitting in the crook of his arm, staring at him - and waited until Donatello had shut the door and he was sure no one else was going to come in. "We'll be okay, boy. I'll keep an eye on the door all night. I promise."

XYZXYZ

Don sighed heavily as he exited Raphael's room. He didn't expect this to be easy…not after everything they had done, but seeing his brother flinch away from him had hurt more than any physical pain he had ever endured. He didn't look forward to when he would have to go back in there later and clean Raph's shell again, but that was a problem for later. Right now, he needed to find something to distract himself from all of this. As he walked back into his lab, he found Leo and Mikey sitting near his computer talking quietly. They stopped the moment they saw him, and Leonardo moved so Donnie could take his chair.

"How is he?" Leo's voice was hardly above a whisper, but it sounded deafening in the nearly silent lair.

Donnie opened his mouth before closing it again. It was such a simple question, and yet he didn't know how to answer it. "I…I don't know what you want me to say, Leo. Physically, the injuries he gave himself while struggling are superficial. The cast is still intact, and he should heal in a couple of weeks. I'll have to clean his shell again in a few hours, and keep a close eye on that crack, but, like I said earlier, given enough time, he should heal just fine. Other than that, I don't know. He didn't even seem angry, Leo. He's tense, edgy, and suspicious of us, but mostly he just looked exhausted and…lost. I've never seen Raph act that way, and, quite frankly, I have no idea how we're supposed to help him…not when were the ones who did this."

"We'll figure it out. Just like we always do, right, bros?" Mikey stared at the two of them, evidently searching for some kind of reassurance.

Donnie glanced over at Mikey, trying to put a smile on his face for his most optimistic brother, but failing miserably. "We'll certainly try, Mikey."

XYZXYZ

It had been three days since they attacked Raph, and Mikey was going stir-crazy. All he wanted to do was run into his brother's room and apologize, but, much like Leo, Mikey was keeping his distance. However, unlike Leo, Mikey wasn't completely avoiding their wounded brother's room. He just only went in long enough to give Raphael something to eat for both him and Spike, and then left. He hadn't actually tried talking to his brother yet. Instead, Michelangelo just picked up the dirty dishes from the previous meal and left the newly filled ones. It was really starting to worry him that Raph was eating so little. The first day Raph didn't eat a single bite of the food Mikey left him, but even Michelangelo knew that was to be expected. The second day he only ate a few bites, and now on the third day he was only eating a third of what Mikey was giving him. He wanted to ask Raphael if there was something specific he wanted, but every time he tried to open his mouth around his brother nothing came out. The only thing that made Mikey feel the tiniest bit of relief was the fact that Spike was eating all of his food.

The only one who spent any significant amount of time with Raph was Donnie, and that was only so he could clean his shell, change his bandages, and work on his knee. The fact that Raphael didn't even bother to grumble while Donatello took care of him made Mikey fidget with nervous energy. He just wanted the old Raph back - the one who was loud and angry - because this new Raph, who was quiet and stared at Mikey as though he was going to attack at any moment, made Michelangelo's heart clench. He knew that it was going to be a long time before the old Raphael was back, if he ever did come back, but that didn't make Mikey miss him any less. He couldn't stand the idea of living forever with a Raph who cringed every time his bedroom door opened, though Mikey knew they deserved it.

XYZXYZ

Raph didn't make a sound as Donnie checked the crack in his shell for the billionth time before removing the bandage around his foot and examining that wound. It was weird not to hear Donnie mumbling about random things under his breath while he was dressing Raphael's wounds, but Raph was almost grateful for the silence. He didn't want to talk to any of them, and he certainly didn't want to hear them mutter their way through whatever was going on in their heads…not while he was so busy dealing with everything that was going on inside of his own. Raph was silently fuming…not at his brothers…not anymore. No, he was too busy being angry with himself.

This was entirely his fault. If he hadn't left the lair after his fight with Leo, then he would have known about the failed retro-mutagen and he could have stopped this whole thing before it had started. Spike never would have been hurt, and Raph wouldn't be stuck in his room unable to walk or even get away from the stifling pressure of being stuck in the lair. However, excluding that, if he hadn't let his anger cloud his mind, then he could have fought off his brothers better, and then he wouldn't be here, nursing so many injuries in the first place. Raph had messed up once again, and now he was paying the price. No wonder his brothers didn't want him around.

XYZXYZ

Leonardo hunched in on himself as he failed to meditate once again. He hadn't been able to reach the peace of mind to actually focus on meditation since they had found Raphael passed out in the sewers, and it was starting to irritate him. He was beginning to wonder why he even bothered trying at this point. After all, no amount of meditation was going to make any of this better. Leo was sure that Raph would be telling him to give up on it completely, if Raph was willing to talk to any of them. He left the dojo feeling an even greater hopelessness than he had when they had discovered that they were the cause of Raphael's pain.

He caught a glimpse of Donnie leaving Raph's room, looking haggard and downtrodden from another round of caring for Raphael's wounds. The sight of Donnie just made Leonardo's shoulders slump even more. It was just one more thing that he didn't have a solution for. Being the leader, Leo knew it was up to him to find some way to get Donatello to actually sleep and stop worrying about the complications of Raph's injuries, but since Leo had spent most of his time doing the same thing, he didn't really know what he was supposed to do.

Mikey spent almost all of his time either making food or sitting in front of the TV, and half the time he forgot to even turn it on. Not that he really paid attention to it when it was on. Mostly, Mikey just spent his time on the couch with his gaze turned toward Raphael's door, seemingly waiting for something. Leo didn't know what his normally hyperactive brother thought was going to happen, and he couldn't bring himself to ask. None of them had touched their weapons since the incident. Leo wasn't forcing any of them to practice like they normally would. He was sure that Donatello and Michelangelo just assumed that he was too preoccupied with Raph's condition, but, the truth was, Leo couldn't even look at his beloved katanas without superimposing the vision of his brother's blood dripping from the end of the weapon, or worse, seeing the finely honed edge of his swords cutting into Raphael's flesh.

XYZXYZ

Raph was trying to stay awake, but his eyes kept drifting closed without his permission. He didn't like sleeping while the other three were still awake, but he was exhausted. It had been days of very little sleep and tensing at every sound. It was starting to grate on his nerves. Still, he really only had himself to blame for this. He knew that if he had just been at the liar, he could have stopped Donnie's experiment from happening, but he let his anger get the better of him once again. No wonder Master Splinter left. Raphael would leave too, if only he could.

Raph heard a sudden knock on the door and immediately stiffened. He tried to calm himself before whoever it was came into the room, but he couldn't make his shoulders relax even slightly. He watched silently as Mikey came in, carrying a bowl and a glass. Raph didn't know why Michelangelo bothered bringing him anything. He only ate as much as he did, so they wouldn't get on his case, but the very sight of food made him gag. It didn't matter what kind of food it was or how good it smelled, because, for some reason, every time Raphael put something into his mouth, all he could think about was the feeling of the cockroach crawling over his tongue and the look in his brothers' eyes as they watched him attempt to get away. Mikey sat the bowl and glass down next to Raph before gathering the other dishes and leaving without a word. That was something else Raphael blamed himself for. Michelangelo was like a ghost, barely making a noise at all, even when he was outside of Raph's room, and Raphael knew that if he had somehow been better, then Mikey would still be laughing and smiling like always.

XYZXYZ

Donnie startled awake - nearly falling off of his chair and almost knocking over his keyboard- at the sound of a loud thud from the other room. He instantly got to his feet and raced out of his lab. When he got to Raph's door, there was a moment of indecision that halted his movements. Donnie wasn't sure if he should just barge in or not, but if something happened and Raphael managed to hurt himself further, then it would be better if Donnie hurried. Bracing himself for the worst, Donatello pushed open Raph's door, only to gasp at the sight that greeted him. Raph was lying on the floor, tangled in a sheet, and groaning in pain. It was the most noise he had made since demanding that he be moved to his room.

Donnie quickly knelt down by his brother and began detangling him from his sheet while looking him over for any new injuries. "Raph, are you okay?"

Raph's eyes were squeezed shut tightly as he shook his head. "Stop it…just stop it." The words were whispered out between clenched teeth.

Donnie couldn't stand how desperate his most confrontational brother sounded. "It's okay. I'm just going to get you back onto the bed and check you over, okay?"

The moment Donatello's hand landed on his brother's good arm, Raphael recoiled from him, but Donnie was prepared for that. What he wasn't prepared for, however, was Raph's next reaction. He swung his cast-covered arm at Don's head, hitting him with enough force to knock Donnie onto his shell. Donatello wasn't sure if the crack he had heard was from his shell hitting the ground or from Raph's arm hitting his head, but the one thing he was certain of was that the cry of pain hadn't come from him. He got back to his feet to see Raphael clutching his broken wrist to his plastron. When Donnie got closer to Raph, he noticed that Raphael's eyes were wide and scanning around the whole room frantically.

It was then that Donnie realized what had happened, and he felt like such an idiot for not realizing it sooner. He held his hands out in front of him conciliatorily as he slowly approached Raphael. "Hey, it's okay. It was just a nightmare." He waited for Raph's gaze to focus on him completely before kneeling down beside him again. "It's over now. You know that right?"

Raph took a second, but eventually he nodded his head, and that was good enough for Don. "Can I help you back into bed now?"

Raph glanced down at his broken wrist before giving Donnie his nonverbal consent. Don took extra care to move slowly and let Raph know what he was going to do before he did it. The last thing he wanted right now was to send Raphael into another flashback. He got Raph back into bed, and then started to look over Raph's wounds again. He wasn't surprised to find that the cast was broken. "I'm going to have to recast your wrist before you can go back to sleep. If you want, I'll bring the stuff in here."

At Raph's nod, Donnie turned to leave without a word. After all, what was there to say? Donnie knew what Raphael had dreamt of. It was the same things that he had been trying to block from his mind every waking moment since he saw the footage.

XYZXYZ

After Donnie finished recasting Raph's arm, he curled up in bed around Spike and just laid there awake. He just wanted to punch something so bad, but even he wasn't stupid enough to hurt his one good hand. "Ya know, buddy. I really am an idiot. I guess I should have expected the stupid nightmares. I mean, every time I close my eyes I see them standing over me again, looking down at me with disgust, and shovin' a cockroach in my mouth. It…it just hurts. It hurts so much, and I know it was the mutagen's fault - Donnie wouldn't lie about that - but I can't stop myself from thinking that it's going to happen all over again every time one of 'em comes near me." He sighed heavily as he watched his pet. Spike just moved closer to him and nudged his head against Raph's hand. "Like I said, I'm an idiot. I don't get why ya don't hate me. You should after what I let happen to ya. I sure hate myself for that. I'm sorry, Spike. I should have been better. I should have protected you better." He couldn't imagine how Spike could still love and trust him after he had so obviously failed. "I promise I'll do better from now on. You'll see." Spike moved even closer to him before curling up in his shell to go to sleep. "Not really sure I want to go back to sleep right now, but that's okay. I'll just keep watch."

XYZXYZ

It had been well over a week since Raph's nightmares had started, and Leo could tell that all of the sleepless nights were weighing heavily on all of his brothers, but he didn't have a single clue as to how he was supposed to help them. He couldn't just tell Raphael that it was all okay, because it wasn't, and at this point Leo was starting to doubt that it ever would be again. He still wasn't meditating, which wasn't helping his mood any, so Leonardo tried his best to stay away from his brothers. It was fairly easy.

After all, Donnie was so preoccupied with making sure that Raph didn't get an infection and that the knee brace was working probably that he didn't really have time to focus on anything else. Raph still wasn't able to leave his room, which normally would have left his most volatile brother raging and screaming, but lately Raphael barely made a sound when he was awake. At least, as far as Leo could tell, but then again, he hadn't even been in Raph's room since he was moved there. As for Mikey, Leo spent more time than he'd like to admit dodging his most childish sibling, but he just couldn't deal with Michelangelo's attempts to get him to see Raph. Mikey just didn't understand that Leo couldn't do it. He couldn't look into his brother's eyes after he - not only failed to keep him safe, but worst - was the one who had hurt his brother the most. After all, Raphael couldn't even walk right not, because Leo had put his sword through his brother's foot and calf muscle. The mental image of that still made him sick to his stomach every time he thought about it.

Leonardo was unexpectedly brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his door, and he sighed heavily as he moved to answer it. He knew it was Mikey, even before he opened the door. Michelangelo was the only one who seemed to find a point in bothering Leo, especially since he had made it his mission to hound him about seeing Raph at least once a day. Leo had learned fairly early on that there was no point in just ignoring the knock on his door, because Mikey wouldn't leave until he at least opened the door to tell him to go away. However, when Leo pulled open his door to see both Michelangelo and Donatello standing in front of him, he was more than just slightly surprised. His stomach instantly dropped at the thought that something had happened to Raphael while he was holed up in his room.

Mikey clearly recognized Leo's expression, because he immediately threw up his hands in a mollifying gesture. "Dude, nothing happened. We just want to talk."

Donnie instantaneously glanced down at their goofball brother. "Wait, what we? You literally grabbed me by the arm, dragged me out of my lab, and told me that you weren't letting go until I came with you."

Michelangelo glared at the genius for a moment before turning back to Leo. "You need to go see Raph."

Leo heaved a large breath before letting it out slowly. It wasn't as if he wasn't prepared for this, but Mikey's insistence was getting tiring. "Mikey, we talked about this."

Michelangelo shook his head as he pushed his way into Leo's room and dragged Donnie in with him. "No, we haven't talk about anything. You've just been sitting in here sulking and ignoring everything I've said for the last week."

Donnie sighed heavily as he stepped between them. "I think Mikey's right. I understand why you don't want to see him. Believe me, I do, but do you really think completely ignoring him is helping him at all?"

Leo's eyes widened at Donnie's accusation. "I'm not ignoring him."

Donatello's eyes narrowed at the protest, and Leo knew that he was in for a long and probably well deserved lecture. "Oh really? I know you hear his screams at night just as well as Mikey and I do, but do you ever even leave your room to check on him? Have you even so much as looked in on him since he was moved into his room? Mikey takes him all of his meals and I regularly inspect his wounds and help stretch out his muscles. Have you even tried talking to him?"

Leonardo knew there was probably more that Donnie wanted to say, but he couldn't keep himself from stopping his brother right there. "What's the point of checking on him? I know he's not okay. How is he ever going to be okay again? There's no comfort I can give him. When's the last time you've heard Raph lash out? When's the last time he's spoken at all? There's no way that my going in there and just talking at him is going to help. What could I possibly say to him, anyway? There's nothing I can do. I know that."

Donnie stared at him sorrowfully, but it was Mikey who spoke up. "We still have to try."

Before Leo could say anything Donnie placed a hand on his shoulder. "I understand how you feel and I know why you're staying away from him, Leo, but think about this from Raph's perspective. We all know that, for whatever reason, he believed - and still believes - a large portion of what we said to him, and ever since he was moved from my lab he hasn't seen you once. What do you think that's doing to him, Leo? I can't even begin to imagine what's going on inside that head of his. I mean, we never really know what Raph's thinking, but I think it's evident that right now he's not himself, and, as you said, he hasn't really been speaking much, so it's not as if he's about to tell us, especially since he doesn't do that at the best of times. However, I think we can all agree that this isn't helping."

Leo glanced down at the ground. He knew that Donatello was right, but that didn't mean that he didn't still have his misgivings. "I agree that this isn't helping, but what's to saying seeing him won't make it worse."

Mikey stepped forward and gave Leo a tight embrace. "It's a risk we have to take, bro."

XYZXYZ

Raph sat on his bed, propped up against his wall, slowly munching on the oatmeal Mikey had left for him and making sure Spike was eating his lettuce leaf. He wasn't sure if he was actually eating more now or if Mikey had just finally started giving him smaller portions, but for the last three or four days he had actually eaten everything on his plate, which seemed to make Michelangelo relax a little. Raph only wished that he could erase that pinched and distressed look that he received from his most playful brother every time Mikey so much as glanced at him. His thoughts came to a screeching halt as Raphael heard a murmur of voices outside of his door, which was odd. He hadn't actually heard his brothers conversing lately. In fact, it seemed as if they all just spent most of their time doing their own things and spending as little time with each other as possible.

The thought made Raphael realize that he hadn't even actually seen more than one brother at a time since Donatello had helped him to his room, and he hadn't seen Leo at all. At first his leader's absence hadn't bothered him. It was nice only having to deal with the other two, and since he spent all of his time anxiously awaiting the next attack - even when it became apparent that it wasn't going to come - not seeing Leo made things a bit easier. However, as the days wore on, the lack of Leonardo's presence seemed to only solidify one thought in Raph's brain. He was certain that Leo was merely enjoying not having to deal with the brother that caused the most turmoil in the family, and Raph honestly couldn't blame him. He was sure that if the circumstances were different, then he'd be enjoying the lack of constant fighting and turbulence as well.

The sudden knock on his door made Raph tense and he immediately berated himself for such a reaction. It was frustrating that even after all of this time a simple knock on the door could make him so apprehensive. Raphael desperately wanted to go back to the time when such a sound would just grate on his nerves, 'cause it meant he had to stop reading one of his magazines and get up. The door opened slowly, which was weird. Don usually just opened the door normally, started asking him questions, and then explained what he was going to do - though, Raph had been through it so many times he already knew. He never stopped Donnie from speaking, however, because something about the tone of his voice as he explained each movement he was going to make was soothing.

Mikey, on the other hand, usually just flung the door open after knocking - though, he always made sure that it didn't bang against the wall, so he didn't startle Raph - and entered quickly to gather the dishes and ask if he needed or wanted anything. The thought made Raphael's teeth grind together. It was just one more thing that had changed since the…incident - which was the only way that Raph could refer to it without wanting to vomit. Once upon a time, Mikey would have burst into his room and not cared how much noise he made doing so. Now, Mikey was so cautious that Raphael had to wonder if the guy who left his meals for him was still his skateboard loving, magazine destroying, annoying little brother.

Raph just stared at the door, unsure of what to do when Leo entered his room. He wasn't sure if his brother being there was a good thing or not, but he knew that there was absolutely no way to make himself relax now. He had barely managed to find a way to calm himself around the other two, and he knew when to expect them. This was something that he just wasn't prepared for, and, from the look of it, neither was Leonardo.

XYZXYZ

Leo kept himself from fidgeting through sheer force of will. He was suddenly regretting allowing the other two to talk him into this. He didn't know what to say, and he knew better than to expect Raph to magically start talking now that he was in the room. Leonardo cleared his throat with a dry cough, and then swallowed thickly. If he just didn't look at Raph's injuries, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. "Hey." It was all he could think of to say, and Leo almost winced when he saw how that simple word made Raphael's already tense muscles tighten. "I…uh…wanted to see how you were doing."

It was a lame opening, especially since Leo could easily see how Raph was doing, and it wasn't well. He didn't expect an answer, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't have appreciated one, all the same. He could feel his own muscles tightening up in discomfort the longer he silently stood by Raphael's door, but Leo still wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. He had asked Don and Mikey what they did when they saw Raph before they had practically pushed him inside of Raph's room, but neither of them was very helpful. Mikey had told him to just relax, as if that was even an option, and Donnie had simply shrugged and told him to remain calm.

Unfortunately, Leonardo couldn't remember the last time he had reached a state of true calm, and he certainly didn't see that changing any time soon. He sighed heavily as he inched closer toward Raphael. He didn't like being so far away from his injured brother, but at the same time Leo wanted to give Raph his space. "I…I know I haven't been around much." This is where he paused to scoff at himself. If this was any other time, Raph would have already beaten him to the punch, scowled at him, and launched into a tirade about how much of lie that statement was, but this wasn't what happened at all. Instead, Raph just stared at him with an intensity that Leo had only ever seen his brother direct at a threat. The thought made Leonardo stop dead; he couldn't have taken another step forward if he wanted to. "I…I'm sorry...sorry for everything that we did…everything that we said. I'm so sorry." He stuttered for a moment before the words just tumbled out of his mouth, and even though Leo knew the words were worthless in this moment he wanted to just keep saying them over and over again, but he couldn't…not when Raphael's bright green eyes trailed to his own and he could see his brother trying desperately to wet his lips.

"I…I know it wasn't your fault and I forgive you guys." Raph's voice was cracked, brittle, and rough from disuse, but Leo heard him loud and clear in the nearly silent room, and he didn't know what to say. His eyes trailed from Raph's split lips to his bandaged calf and foot…the one his katana had pierced, and his throat went completely dry. He didn't deserve Raphael's forgiveness…not this time.

His brother continued to just stare at him, as though he expected some kind of reaction, but Leo didn't know what. It took him a long moment before he was sure he could speak without his voice breaking, and when he did, all Leonardo could muster were two simple words, that would never be enough. "Thank you." Leo murmured quietly. He didn't trust himself to speak any louder than a whisper. He didn't really understand how Raph's forgiveness could actually make him feel worse, but as his throat burned with all of his suppressed emotions, Leo promised himself that he wouldn't show his brother how much such a simple statement affected him.

He tried for a small smile, but Leo could tell that it more of a grimace as he made his way out of Raphael's room.

XYZXYZ

Raph was trying to let it go. He kept trying every day to just pretend like it was okay. He told Leo that he forgave them, and he wanted so badly for it to be true, but he couldn't stop thinking about it…couldn't stop cringing every time one of them got close to him without him realizing it. He wanted to be over it by now, and he had no one to blame for his lingering issues but himself. He needed to hit something. It would help…he knew it would help, but his stupid arm was still in a cast and would be for a while, since he had idiotically broken the cast. He couldn't stop the nightmares, and the lack of sleep wasn't helping, because the image of his brothers standing over him with their weapons drawn just kept invading his mind while he was awake. Nothing was getting better, and Raphael's anger was only increasing, except now the only thing he had to take it out on was himself, and he couldn't even do that properly without worrying his brothers more.

He growled as he stared down at his leg. He still wasn't able to put pressure on his foot, even though Donnie was letting him stretch his muscles and was teaching him simple exercises he could do without further injuring himself. The brace was irritating. It rubbed his skin raw and made him itch like crazy. If only he could get away from the suffocating atmosphere of the lair for just a little while, but Donnie said it would still be some time before he could put his full weight on his leg. His frustration and rage rose with each passing day, but Raph tried his best not to lash out at anyone. This wasn't anyone's fault, except his own. He should have stopped them from hurting him so badly. He should have been home in the first place to shove his brothers in their rooms and kept them from hurting each other. He should have done a million other things to avoid this, and he didn't, so the least he could do now was mostly keep silent to keep his brothers safe from his rage and from their guilt.

XYZXYZ

It had been a week since they had forced Leonardo into Raph's room, and Raphael forgiveness did nothing to alleviate any of the tension in the lair. In fact, it seemed to make things worse, and Mikey couldn't take it anymore. Something had to be done or he was going to lose it. He couldn't continue to let things be. He had to figure out some way to make this better, because this wasn't working anymore…not that he had ever believed that it was working in the first place, but he tried. He wanted to let Raph have his space, and he knew better than to push, but he just couldn't hold back anymore. He didn't want to make things worse, but Mikey honestly didn't think that things could get much worse…not with the way everyone seemed to just stop living.

Leo wasn't meditating, nor was he training, and he still saw Raph infrequently. Donnie hadn't tinkered with anything in his lab besides Raphael's brace since the incident. And Raph? Well, other than to reassure them that he was fine and forgave them, he still hadn't spoken more than a few words to them. Mikey knew that he, himself, wasn't doing much better than the others, but he had needed time just like the rest of them. However, Michelangelo was done giving himself time. He waited for Leo to walk into the dojo for his daily attempt at mediation, and then checked to make sure Donnie was in his lab, in front of his computer, like he normally was when he wasn't tending to Raph.

Mikey silently made his way to Raph's room and slipped inside. It was the first time that he had entered the room without knocking beforehand since this all began, and it made him extremely nervous. Any other time he would probably be panicking about Raphael's reaction to him being in his room without permission, but right now the only thing that he was worried about was accidently making this all worse. He saw Raph lying on his bed, facing the door with an impassive stare, and Mikey couldn't help but think about how wrong that was. Impassive was never a word Mikey would have associated with his most explosive brother. Michelangelo audibly gulped as he prepared for the worst and tried to ignore the way Raphael tensed at the sound. He wanted so badly to say that he was sorry, but Mikey knew that it was a useless expression of remorse that could never be enough. The evidence of what they had done to their brother was still clearly visible, even though most of the bruises and minor cuts had faded and healed. Just looking at all of Raph's wounds made Mikey wince. He couldn't imagine the pain Raphael was in or how he could ever truly forgive them for causing it.

He knew that they had all pushed Raph away at times, because they weren't able or willing to deal with his fury, but Mikey had never meant to do this. He never wanted Raphael to think that they didn't love him, but they had, and it was up to Michelangelo to find some way to get Raph to see the truth. He didn't know if Raphael would ever really trust them again, but that would have to come later, because right now he just wanted his brother to know and believe that he cared about him. If only he knew how to go about that.

Mikey seriously considered just turning around and leaving when Raph just continued to stare at him, but he didn't want to just let things remain the way that they were. He couldn't stand seeing the strongest fighter of their team broken like this. Raph may have said that he forgave them and that he was fine, but they all knew that it wasn't true. Sure, Raphael wanted to forgive them, but he couldn't hide his haunted expression and how he flinched every single time one of them came near him without warning. Mikey knew that sometimes when Raph gazed at them with that distant look in his eyes, he was remembering everything that they had done to him.

That was the thing that hurt the most about all of this. They had done this…they had broken their brother. The most aggressive fighter that Mikey had ever known was now emotionally and physically crippled thanks to his own family, and the worst part was, they didn't even remember it. Sure, they had all watched wide-eyed as they viewed the footage of the attack, but that wasn't the same as actually remembering their actions. After all, Mikey still didn't feel like he was the one who had done those things. He knew that it was him, but it just didn't feel that way.

Michelangelo continued to just stare at Raph, not really sure what to say or how any of them were going to get past this, but he knew he had to try. "Raph, you know we love you, right?"

He watched silently as Raphael's eyes drifted away from him, and his shoulders hitched up almost defensively. "Sure, Mikey, now get out. I'm trying to get some sleep."

It was obviously a lie, but Mikey couldn't bring himself to say anything about it. After all, ignoring that Raph had clearly been awake when he entered the room, Raph didn't really sleep much anymore, and, when he did, he was always plagued with nightmares. He never said anything about them, but Mikey was sure that they all already knew what Raphael was dreaming about. He sighed heavily. He couldn't bring himself to argue with Raph or to annoy him as he once had…he didn't have the right to do so anymore. Not after he had threatened Spike with Raph's own weapon and done so much worse. "Sure, bro, whatever you want."

He didn't think Raph would respond, which was why he was caught completely off-guard when he heard Raphael's quiet voice behind him. "Since when has that mattered?"

Mikey didn't know what to say in response other than, "Always." He didn't want to hear Raph argue that with him…he didn't want to hear how his brother didn't believe that, so he took the coward's way out and rushed out of the room only to slam into Leonardo.

"Mikey, what were you doing bothering Raph? Haven't we done enough?"

Michelangelo merely shook his head. It was late and he wasn't holding any plates or bowls, so there was no way that Leo would believe it was just a regular food run. Leo didn't seem particularly irate, just tired. It seemed as though everyone was just always exhausted now. "I…I wasn't…I didn't bother him. I was just…I don't know…trying…"

"Trying to what? Upset him more?" Leo's eyes flashed with some amount of anger, but Mikey could tell that it was mostly directed inward.

He didn't have an answer for Leonardo. It wasn't as if his leader was wrong. Mikey's presence had only made Raphael tenser, and Mikey knew that it would, but he still didn't think things should stay the way that they were. "We have to start repairing the damage at some point."

Leo's gaze immediately fell to the floor as he heaved a large sigh. "There is no way to repair the damage, Mikey. We hurt him too much. What we did…it's not something any of us could ever recover from…not really, and Raph already had so many issues with me…I mean, with us, before all of this." He gestured broadly to the lair in general.

Mikey couldn't stop himself. He abruptly wrapped his arms around Leonardo tightly, refusing to let him go, even when Leo desperately tried to push him away. "This isn't just about you. We all made this mess, and we'll find some way to heal from it."

Leo glanced at him with a truly lost expression. It was something Michelangelo had never seen before, and he honestly hoped that he never would again. Seeing, Leo so out of his depth was more than just a little nerve-wracking. "How? Sure, Raph knows that the failed retro-mutagen was responsible, but I'm sure he's been asking himself the same question I have since it happened. How much of that was the mutagen's fault and how much of that was just the deeper darker parts of ourselves? I mean, some of those things I said to Raph…I've…well, I've thought them before. He's brash. He does have a tendency to get into unnecessary fights, and sometimes…sometimes I do blame him for the trouble we get into."

Mikey only held on tighter at Leo's confession. He knew they had all thought similar things at one point or another. "Well, yeah, sure. Of course, you've thought those things before, but you would never actually hurt Raph over them, and you certainly wouldn't hurt Spike or offer him up to Donnie as a science experiment, right?"

Leo pulled away just enough to look Mikey in the eyes for a good long, hard moment. "Sometimes I really wonder if that's true."

Mikey's eyes widened in response. "What…what do you mean?" He couldn't imagine Leo ever willingly doing those things.

Leonardo breathed out another long sigh. "I told him that after he leaves to go blow off steam I wish he would never come back, and sometimes…sometimes I do wish that. Sometimes I do think we'd all be better off without him and his temper."

Mikey couldn't believe his ears. "But…but you know that's not true, right?" He stared at Leo intently. "We need him. You know that. Remember our fight with Spider Bytes? We never would have survived that without Raph. He protects us. Sure, he gets us into bad situations sometimes, but we all do that from time to time. I mean, how many times have you turned to face an enemy, especially a kraang bot, only to see the guy with a sai sticking out of the side of his head and already down? How many times have you braced yourself for a hit only to find Raph standing between you and the threat? How many times have you been absolutely sure that a projectile was going to get you, and there was no avoiding it, only to see Raph take it out with a throwing star? I mean, I know that stuff happens a lot less often to you, than it does to me and Donnie, but it still happens."

"You're right, Mikey, but that doesn't mean that when Raph is in one of his moods I don't think about what it would be like if…if we didn't have to deal with that…if we didn't have to deal with him, and now thanks to what we did, he might never…"

Michelangelo pulled away and tried to block out what Leo had said. "Don't say it, bro…just don't. He'll get better."

Leo shook his head. "Face it, Mikey. We broke Raph. Not The Foot…not Karai…not the Kraang…us…we did that, and we did it to our own brother. How can we ever expect him to trust us again? We used his worst fear against him. We made him eat a cockroach for crying out loud! So, please, for once, just listen to me, Mikey. WE CAN'T FIX THIS!"

Mikey took another step away from Leonardo. "You're wrong. We have to fix this…we…we just have to. There isn't another option."

Leo shook his head as he turned to leave. "You know, the only reason he's still here is because he physically can't leave, right? The moment Raph's leg is healed; do you honestly think that he'll stay? He'll run away, and I…I don't think I can chase after him this time. We don't have the right to chase after him this time."

Mikey watched Leo's retreating form for a long moment before he shook his head vigorously. "I'll always chase after Raph, even if you won't."

XYZXYZ

It had been long enough that Raphael was finally able to walk around without fear of his knee giving out on him or popping his stitches - though he still had to wear the uncomfortable brace - but he wasn't exactly sure that being able to roam around was a good thing. He tried to relax around his brothers, but he just couldn't, and worse, they couldn't relax around him either. The moment he exited his room without Donatello's help for the first time, the other three just stared at him as if he was some kind of an anomaly. It was a long moment before all three of them began bombarding him with questions. They wanted to help and to atone for what they had done, but Raph couldn't stand their concern and guilt. All it did was aggravate him, and made him feel worse about his inability to just get over everything that had happened.

He grunted as he passed by them with nothing more than a shake of his head. He didn't want their help. He didn't want their shame or pity either, but it didn't seem as though that was going to stop any time soon. Raphael meandered around the lair aimlessly, stretching his sore muscles and desperately trying to find some way to unwind. He wanted nothing more than to just hit his punching bag until he was worn-out enough to sleep, but he knew better than to try. His brothers were already keeping a concerned eye on him, and they certainly didn't need a reason to fret over him more than they already were, especially since he still only had one good hand.

Raph paced around the kitchen, dojo, and main room - taking breaks when his leg grew too painful to continue standing. Meanwhile, his brothers spent the entire time he was out of his room switching between dodging him and pandering to him to the point that he was grinding his teeth together out of frustration. Raphael knew that he had to get used to spending time with them again, just like he knew that they had to do the same with him, but it was so hard when he was on edge the whole time, and his brothers were responding as if he was a scared rabbit. He wanted to just yell and rant at all of them, but every time he opened his mouth he thought of what his anger had already wrought and his voice died before he could utter a single word. He promised himself he wouldn't hurt them anymore than he already had.

XYZXYZ

Splinter walked silently into the lair. It was late, even for them, and he didn't want to disrupt his sons slumber. He doubted that the turtles had kept to their normal hours while he was away, and he knew that they would need their rest for morning training. He thought about checking in on each of them before he went to his room, but he didn't want to risk waking any of them, no matter how much he desperately wanted to see his sons. Instead, he made his way to his room and slept.

Splinter arose long before any of his sons, but that wasn't unusual. He decided to wait for them in the dojo as a surprise, since they didn't know when he was going to return. However, when he didn't hear any of them awaken by the time that they would normally be considered ten minutes late for practice he sighed heavily. Clearly, his sons were sleeping in longer than he had originally anticipated, but it wasn't exactly unexpected. However, after waiting for well over half an hour for one of his sons to enter the dojo, Splinter became annoyed. They had been slacking in their training, and that wasn't something he could abide by. Still, he wanted to give them one last day of freedom, so he decided to simply wait for them to eventually awaken.

His ears perked up moments later when he heard a clamor from kitchen, knowing exactly which turtle would be in there; Splinter opted to go surprise his most youthful son. After all, if there was one thing he missed the most while being away it was his son's bright, warm smile. He didn't even need to enter the kitchen to know that Michelangelo was running all over the place, gathering materials for whatever he decided to make his brothers for breakfast. The thought made a smile creep onto his face, which only grew once he entered the room to see his most joyful son covered from head to toe in flour.

XYZXYZ

Today was the day; Mikey promised himself that he was going to make something that Raph wanted to eat more than just a small portion of, if it killed him. He threw ingredients into a bowl before dashing over to the other side of the room and pulling open the refrigerator. He started shoving random items out of his way in his search for the strawberries that he had asked April to acquire for him for this very purpose. He swore that he put them in the back right behind the leftover pizza, but alas the space was empty. He pulled away from the refrigerator, grabbed the bowl off the counter, mildly dejected, and tried to figure out what he could use as a replacement, when he was startled by a very distinctive chuckle behind him. The sound drew his attention immediately, and he barely even noticed it when the bowl he had been holding hit the ground with a loud crash. It had been so long since anyone had laughed in the lair that the noise almost made tears come to his eyes. When he turned to see Master Splinter standing in the doorway, Mikey couldn't stop himself from leaping into his arms.

XYZXYZ

Splinter had just enough time to brace himself for the impact before Michelangelo barreled into him. He merely wrapped his arms around his son and grinned, uncaring of the flour that was now smeared onto his clothes. He had missed Michelangelo's enthusiasm, and it was nice to see that his son had missed him as well. His ears picked up the sound of quiet sobs right before he felt the wetness on his robes from his son's tears. Splinter hadn't expected his absence to affect his son so greatly, but he knew he should have. Michelangelo had always been the most emotionally open of all of the turtles, after all. He held his son tighter, happy to finally be home. "I hope you enjoyed your late mornings. Starting tomorrow training will resume at the usual time."

He felt Michelangelo shiver at his words, which caused Splinter to raise an eyebrow in confusion. He expected his son's usual exaggerated groan and a plea to have one more day of laidback mornings. He was about to ask what was wrong, but Michelangelo pulled away before he got the chance.

XYZXYZ

Mikey tried to smile at his father, but knew that it didn't really reach his eyes. He didn't want Master Splinter to ask him what was wrong. He couldn't talk about it. He wanted to…he wanted to just tell his father everything that had happened and hope that the rat could fix things like he always had. However, Mikey couldn't make the words come out, and, worse, he didn't want to discover that even Master Splinter couldn't fix what they had done, so he did what he did best…grinned sheepishly and attempted a distraction. "So, um, since I sorta dropped breakfast on the floor, what would you like me to make? And don't tell me nothing. You've gotta be hungry after your trip."

XYZXYZ

Splinter could tell that something was wrong, but before he could press his youngest for more information a very exhausted and haggard looking Donatello stumbled into the kitchen. Splinter could tell that his son's eyes hadn't seen anything in the kitchen beyond the coffee Michelangelo had already brewed for his brother. Despite his most intelligent son's appearance, his caffeine deprived morning haze brought a small smile to Splinter's face. Donatello wasn't aware of much before his first cup of coffee of the day, and the things he could miss while in his morning fog, while concerning, was also quite humorous for the rest of the family. Splinter sat at his place at the table and waited patiently for his bo wielding student to notice him.

XYZXYZ

Donnie wasn't sure what the noise was that had awoken him. It was some kind of crash, but it didn't come from the direction of Raph's room, so right now all he cared about was in taking as much of the dark liquid in his mug as possible before he had to deal with anything else. He hadn't been sleeping well - although he was certain that none of them had - but more than just simply dealing with Raph's wounds and his nightmares, Donnie had been spending every moment he could researching and distracting himself from everything else. It was all he could do to avoid his own guilt and shame.

His cup was already half empty by the time he spun around to face Mikey on the other side of the kitchen, and the sight that greeted him was one that truly shocked him. Donnie mourned the loss of both his cup and his coffee as it slipped from his grip and smashed all over the kitchen floor, but that was hardly the most important thing that his sleep deprived brain was dealing with right now. "Master Splinter, you're home." The words tumbled out of his mouth as he made his way over to his father, avoiding the broken cup and spilled coffee, and then jumping over the tipped over bowl of...something, he didn't know what.

Splinter laughed as Donnie melded into his side, hugging him tightly, and not wanting his sensei to see his suddenly damp eyes. "Possibly, if I wish for us to have any dishes left, I should make sure your brothers aren't holding anything when they discover my presence as well." Donnie huffed out a breath of laughter as he tried to hide the few tears that had fallen from his eyes. He didn't want to cry, but he was just so relieved to have his father home.

XYZXYZ

The embrace with Donatello only lasted for a few moments, before his most precocious son pulled away and began helping Michelangelo clean up the mess on the floor that the two had created. He wanted to ask his sons what was wrong, and why they both looked so overwrought, but, once again, he was interrupted by the arrival of another son. Leonardo shuffled into the room, somehow looking far worse than Donatello, which Splinter had actually believed impossible. Leonardo hugged him and welcomed him home before turning back to the task of making them both tea. Splinter didn't know what had happened while he was away, but he could tell that something more than his absence was distressing them. He opted to wait until his final son arrived to ask the question he'd been pondering all morning, but, after Michelangelo had finished making breakfast and there was still no sign of Raphael, Splinter began to worry. It wasn't unusual for Raphael to be the last one up, but by now even his most surly son should have joined them.

He decided to wait until his other three sons were seated to broach the subject of Raphael. He didn't want to upset them any more than they already were, even if his own disquiet was making his whiskers twitch. However, Splinter was mildly surprised to notice that after Michelangelo laid a plate in front of each of them he still didn't sit down. Instead, he placed some pancakes on a separate plate and began to leave the room. Without any hesitation, Splinter stood and followed his most blithe son out of the kitchen.

He wasn't even mildly surprised to see Michelangelo head straight for Raphael's room, though it made Splinter's apprehension grow. He couldn't image what had happened to his most impulsive son that kept him from eating his meals in the kitchen with the rest of his family. Splinter stood behind Michelangelo and watched with a concerned eye as his son's demeanor changed completely as he knocked and entered his brother's room. He had never seen Michelangelo act in such a somber and reserved manner before, especially around his brothers. The mere sight of it filled Splinter with dread. He silently followed his son into Raphael's room, but the moment his eyes fell upon his most obstinate child, Splinter couldn't hold back a gasp of shock. He had never seen his son in such a state and it made his blood run cold. He wanted nothing more than to destroy the one responsible for his son's injuries. "My son, what happened to you?"

Splinter was vaguely aware of Michelangelo nearly dropping the plate he held, though Splinter wasn't exactly sure why. Certainly, Michelangelo had to expect that he would inevitably ask how his son ended up in such a battered state. He ignored the minor fumble for a moment, and instead focused on his wounded child.

XYZXYZ

Raph didn't know what to say. He didn't have an answer for Master Splinter. There was no way he was going to tell his sensei that his brothers were to blame, because, as far as he was concerned, they weren't. This was his fault. He should have done something…he should have stopped them. Heck, he still thought it was his fault for leaving the lair in the first place. Had he only been there, then he could have done something. Raph knew that he had spent too long silent when he saw Master Splinter stare down at him with the 'I'm waiting' expression. He still didn't have anything to really say, so Raph did what he always did in these kinds of situations. He merely shrugged and tried to play it off. "It's nothing, Sensei. I was just stupid again. That's all."

XYZXYZ

The air was filled with a hurt sound, and it took Mikey a moment to realize that the noise had come from his own mouth. He didn't want to be here for this conversation. He didn't feel as though he had the right to be here for this conversation, but he couldn't make himself leave…not after hearing what Raph had to say. He couldn't believe that Raphael blamed himself for what they had done. Mikey desperately wanted to just shout that his brother was lying, but he couldn't make the words come out, and it took everything he had not to just run and hug his brother and tell him how stupid he was being. However, Mikey knew now wasn't the time for that, and, quite frankly, he didn't want to see how badly Raph would flinch from a hug. It would hurt too much.

He glanced down in shame at his own thoughts, only to realize that he was still holding the plate with Raph's breakfast on it. He doubted that Raph would eat any of his pancakes now that he was being confronted about what had happened, but he would leave the plate just like every other time. Somehow, the thought hurt more than it should have. Mikey was trying so hard to get Raph to eat more, but it seemed the harder he tried the more he failed. He just wanted to do one thing to help.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice his sensei calling his name, until he felt Master Splinter's clawed hand on his shoulder. "Michelangelo," his sensei waited until he knew he had Mikey's full attention, before continuing, "return to the kitchen. I wish to speak with Raphael alone."

Mikey gulped audibly, and looked down, only to notice the plate he had been holding disappeared. He looked around the room to find Master Splinter had placed Raphael's breakfast next to Raph's bed, on the floor. Mikey wanted to protest, because he knew that Master Splinter was going to lecture Raphael about his recklessness and reprimand him for getting hurt, but it wasn't Raph's fault. However, one look into his sensei's copper colored eyes had Mikey practically fumbling over himself in his attempt to get out of the room. He couldn't disobey his sensei, and definitely not while he wore that particular expression. Mikey hung his head as he walked toward the kitchen, vowing to somehow make this right as he went to tell the other two about what Raphael had said.

XYZXYZ

Splinter didn't know what was going on, but, he knew one thing for certain, Raphael was lying to him. It didn't take a ninjutsu master to know when one of his sons wasn't being entirely honest. However, he didn't understand why Raphael would take the blame for his injuries. His son had to know that if Splinter had believed him, then he would be receiving a lecture and possibly some other form of punishment once he was well again. However, it was evident that Raphael believed at least some of what he had said, even if it was obvious that there was something his son was leaving out. Raphael seemed adamant that it was his fault, but Splinter could tell, both from Raphael's and Michelangelo's reaction, that he wasn't telling the whole truth. He just wasn't exactly sure how to garner the information he needed from Raphael. After all, Splinter knew from experience that if Raphael didn't want to speak, then pushing him would only drive him away.

He cautiously sat down beside Raphael on the bed, as to not jostle his son's wounded body. He gently ran his hand over Raphael's cast and leg brace, both as a gesture of calming and to watch his son's reaction. "How exactly did this happen?" He could see Raphael's eyes shift downward, and Splinter knew that whatever response his son was going give him would be another half-truth.

XYZXYZ

Raph shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the conversation as a whole. He didn't know what he was going to say. He hadn't actually thought up an excuse for all of his injuries, and he knew Master Splinter wasn't going to just accept another vague response about his own stupidity…no matter how true it was. Still, he wasn't going to tell Master Splinter about his brothers' involvement. He refused to fail to protect them again, like he had failed to protect himself and Spike from them, and, to a very real extent, failed to protect his brothers from themselves. "I went topside, even though Leo told me not to, and I got into it with the purple dragons. It was stupid and foolish and I know I need to be punished."

XYZXYZ

He was wrong when he thought his son was going to tell him another half-truth. Splinter knew from the tension building in Raphael's entire body that his story about going topside was a complete fabrication. However, judging by the expression on his face and the indignation - that was unmistakably directed inward - in his son's eyes, Splinter was certain that Raphael was utterly serious and honest when he said he was foolish, stupid, and needed to be punished, and it was that simple candor that kept Splinter from demanding the truth outright from his wounded child. "I believe your injuries are punishment enough."

Raphael shook his head vigorously. "You're wrong. They will never be enough."

Splinter's brow narrowed at his son's words. He had never heard any of his sons outright disregard him in such a way, and certainly never on such a subject. He didn't know what to do, and, not for the first time in his life, he felt as if he was missing something vital. Witnessing his son hurting this much was bad enough, but knowing that Raphael was hurting himself even more made Splinter's heart clench. It pained him that his son didn't think he could tell him the truth, and, worse, believed such things. "Why do you feel this way, my son?"

"Because it's my fault. It's always my fault." He watched as his son seemingly realized that he had spoken out loud, and then Raphael suddenly clamped his mouth shut.

"What's your fault, my son?" He watched as Raphael shook his head and kept his mouth firmly closed. Splinter knew that no amount of coaxing would get his most antagonistic son to speak, and he didn't wish to harm him further, so he merely placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Eat your breakfast, Raphael. I shall return later to check on you."

He didn't want to leave Raphael's room, but Splinter knew that his son needed time to himself. He also knew that he wasn't going to be able to help his son unless he knew what had transpired while he had been away. Splinter made his way back to the kitchen, feeling far older than he had when he entered Raphael's room. He silently made a promise to all of his sons that he would get to the bottom of this, and help all of them to heal from whatever had happened.

XYZXYZ

Leo sighed heavily at yet another failed attempt to meditate. He couldn't believe that Raph thought this entire situation was due to his own stupidity. It didn't make any sense, not when it was obvious that Raph was the only one who was blameless in all of this. Leo growled and tried to empty his mind once more. He was growing weary with the lack of tranquility, and it seemed that his life was only going to become more complicated with Master Splinter's return. He knew that the moment that his father left Raph's room he would want to speak with Leo about how Raphael had become so injured in the first place and Leonardo wasn't sure that he could stomach the conversation. He knew he couldn't lie to his father…not about this, and he certainly couldn't give the old rat a lame excuse to get out of the conversation all together, but Leo didn't know how he was supposed to endure witnessing his father's expression change from one of concern to one of disappointment and disgust when Leo disclosed exactly how Raph's wounds had occurred. Leo didn't even know how he was supposed to get the words out, not alone keep the bile down, once Master Splinter finally confronted him.

XYZXYZ

Splinter slowly made his way down to the kitchen. The tension in the air was nearly palpable and made his whiskers twitch. He hadn't anticipated returning home to such despair, and he was honestly questioning if he should have left at all. However, Splinter was well aware that there was nothing he could do to change the past. After all, he had learned that lesson many years ago.

As he entered the kitchen he wasn't the least bit surprised to find it empty, and he knew exactly where to find his other sons. It wasn't hard to detect them, but even without his heightened rat senses, Splinter knew exactly where the other three would go when they were this distressed. Michelangelo would always hide in his room and submersed himself in his comics, desperately trying to forgo dealing with reality for as long as possible. Donatello would sequester himself into his lab and lose himself in whatever project captured his mind this time. Leonardo, however, would be found meditating in either his room or the dojo.

Carefully considering his options, Splinter decided to make himself a cup of tea before he left to confront his eldest son. He knew the conversation would be a difficult one for both of them, and Splinter desperately wanted to be as calm as possible before he approached Leonardo with his query. He sipped at his tea sluggishly as he tried to find the serenity he so greatly needed. He didn't wish to agitate his son or make him defensive with his own emotional turmoil, so Splinter took his time to compose himself. Once the tea was finished and there was nothing left to distract him from converging on Leonardo, Splinter made his way to the dojo.

He was genuinely astounded to discover Leonardo struggling to reach true meditation. Out of all of his sons, Leonardo showed the most potential in this area and always found it to be the easiest part of his training. Despite everything that Splinter had witnessed to prove exactly how distraught all of his sons were, it was seeing Leonardo struggle to find his center and calm his mind that truly worried Splinter. He had never seen his oldest son so troubled before and the thought was beyond unsettling. It was enough to make Splinter's tail jerk and his ears flatten against his head.

Splinter took a soothing breath before entering the dojo. He had intended to ease into this conversation by joining Leonardo in meditation and slowly work his way towards the subject that he wished to discuss, however, knowing that Leonardo was unable to meditate and would merely spend the entire time anxiously awaiting his father's inquiry, Splinter chose to forgo his usual methods. "Leonardo," He waited for his son's full attention before continuing. "I'm sure you already know what I wish to discuss."

Leonardo's eyes fell to the floor as he nodded. "You want to know what happened to Raphael."

It wasn't a question, but Splinter answered anyway. "Indeed."

He waited for a long moment, watching in silence as his son struggled to find the words, and when Leonardo finally spoke the anguish it caused him was undeniable. "I…I'm sorry, Master Splinter. I can't. I know you need to know what's going on, but I…just can't." Leonardo finally lifted his gaze to meet Splinter's, and what he saw in his sons eyes made his heart clench even more than before. There was an obvious plea in his expression that Splinter had never seen before. "Please, don't make me. Ask…ask Donnie. He'll be able to tell you everything." The guilt, shame, and self-loathing were evident in every syllable, and Splinter was honestly starting to wonder if something truly horrific had transpired while he was away.

Normally, he would press Leonardo for more information. The turtle was the leader, after all. It was his responsibility to relay information to him, and Leonardo should be able to tell his father anything, but Splinter couldn't bring himself to snap his tail like a whip, or smack his walking stick against the ground, and demand answers like he usually would…not…not in face of Leonardo's agony. "Very well, my son. I shall go ask your brother." The obvious relief in Leonardo's expression didn't outweigh the equally unmistakable self-deprecation at being unable to provide the answers that Splinter so desperately sought.

XYZXYZ

Donnie had a book open on his lap and three spread out on his desk. His monitor had more windows open on it than he really thought it could handle and everything he read just made him absolutely certain that shell rot or SCUD was an eventuality, given they lived in the sewer, and one that he didn't actually have the remedy for. He had to figure out some way to get the necessary antibiotics for the inevitable, but getting them in the proper amount would be nearly impossible, which meant that he had to find some other equally as potent alternative, and so far that particular solution was eluding him. Donnie knew that given enough time he could probably figure something out, but he wasn't exactly sure how long that would take.

True, Raph's shell didn't seem to bear any signs of either disease, but Donnie knew better than to hope for the best. The thought made Don consider setting aside his research for a while to go clean and check Raph's shell again. After all, he hadn't actually done that yet today, and he knew all too well how neglecting such an important task could end. He spun around in his chair intent on doing just that and nearly jumped ten feet in the air when he saw Master Splinter just standing in his doorway staring at the room in general. "Sorry, Sensei, I didn't see you there."

XYZXYZ

Splinter cleared his throat slightly. The truth was he too had been startled by Donatello's sudden movement. He had been so busy glancing around the messy room and wondering just what Donatello was researching that he needed so many books and random loose-leaf papers with notes on them that he had allowed himself to become well and truly distracted. He motioned for Donatello to remain seated as he entered the room fully. He glanced down at the book that had fallen out of Donatello's lap only to discover that it was the old tattered book of reptilian diseases they had found some years ago. Splinter bent down and picked up the book, and nearly dropped it again when he saw that it was clearly open to the entry on Septicemic Cutaneous Ulcerative Disease. He felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach and wondered if he should have examined Raphael properly before he left him.

Splinter took a deep calming breath and quickly handed the book back to Donatello. "How is your brother?" He meant to ask what had happened to Raphael, but seeing all of the information on shell rot and all of these other diseases scattered around Donatello's room made Splinter abstain from that particular question for the moment.

XYZXYZ

Donnie sighed heavily. He knew what Master Splinter actually wanted to ask… he had known since the moment he saw Master Splinter standing in his doorway, but Don figured he would take the reprieve while he could get it. Donnie took another steadying breath and tried to detach himself from the conversation as much as possible. Everything was so much easier to put into words if he only focused on the technical and scientific aspect of it. "Well, I'm sure you noticed the cast and leg brace. His hand and wrist are broken. The kneecap was dislocated. He has a few broken ribs and a few deep gashes that are still healing, including the puncture wound through his foot and his lacerated calf muscle, but he's no longer in danger of tearing out his stitches with every movement. He had a dislocated shoulder, but that healed properly a while ago. The most concerning injury is his cracked shell. He exhibits no signs or symptoms of shell rot or SCUD, and I'm hoping to keep it that way." He purposefully left out Raphael's emotional and mental state, but mostly because Donnie didn't think he was qualified to comment on it. After all, it wasn't as if Raph had told any of them how he was doing in that regard. In fact, he was still insisting that he was fine, even if it was abundantly clear that he really wasn't.

Master Splinter didn't outwardly respond to the information, but Donatello could tell that he was just as concerned about any possible complications as Don was. It was a long moment before the question Donnie was hoping to avoid was posed. "And how exactly did Raphael obtain such severe injuries?"

XYZXYZ

Splinter watched as his son utterly froze at his question. The wounds his most brusque son had acquired were disconcerting all on their own, but the way each one of his other sons responded every time he tried to discover how he had attained them put Splinter even more on edge. He waited while Donatello opened and closed his mouth several times, seemingly unable to form words. "It…I...we…" Donatello's voice drifted off as he turned back to his monitor. "I can't tell you… I don't know how to tell you, but…but I can show you." Splinter didn't actually know what his most intellectual son meant by that, but he waited patiently as his son minimized certain windows and opened another one on the screen. "It was a retro-mutagen experiment gone wrong that caused…well, you'll see. I'm sorry, but I can't stay and watch this again. You'll…you'll understand. I'm just…I'm gonna go check on Raph's shell. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. I just…I can't."

Splinter didn't get a chance to ask his son what he meant or why he was acting so strange before Donatello was out of the room. With nothing else to do and no other clues as to what had transpired, Splinter sat down in Donatello's abandoned chair and watched the screen in front of him. It was obvious from the moment that Michelangelo approached his brother that something was wrong. Michelangelo was never that cruel to anyone, much less his own brother or his brother's pet, for that matter. As Splinter continued to watch the events unfold he couldn't understand what in the world had gotten into his sons. He remembered that Donatello had said something about a failed retro-mutagen experiment, but he couldn't understand how such an experiment could affect his sons so greatly. How it could turn them so cold…so malicious?

Splinter didn't know what to do. He wasn't prepared for this. When he had decided to train the turtles, he knew he would have to prepare for the inevitable injuries, especially accidental wounds inflicted upon each other. And yes, he had comforted and soothed each of the turtles from the hurtful words from each other, but he never envisioned something like this happening. This…this was something far different that he had never anticipated. This wasn't brothers pushing each other to prove who was the best or mocking each other in benign ways. This was something far worse, and Splinter knew he didn't have a solution this time. No soothing words or gentle hugs could ever fix this.

As he watched three of his sons tear apart the fourth with words, weapons, and his own insecurities, Splinter considered for the first time ever that his family might be truly broken beyond repair. He was so enraptured by the horrifying imagines on the screen that he didn't even notice the tears streaming down his own face until he heard the familiar anguished sound of a heart breaking, only to discover that the sound had come from his own mouth. Splinter desperately tried to hold back the pained whimpers as he watched his sons taunt their brother with terrible lies, even going so far as to drag him into their awful jeers. It made his heart constrict to hear Donatello use the fact that Splinter had tried to give young Raphael as much freedom as possible to work through his rage when he was a child.

He knew where his most gruff son went when Raphael dashed out of their home with tiny clenched fists and angry frustrated tears in his eyes. Splinter knew how to find his son and bring him home, if it was necessary, and thought it was best to give the young livid turtle space. The only time he ever truly worried was when Raphael disappeared for more than a few hours, but Splinter knew that his sons never really saw that concern, because he made sure to protect them from his own worry and other emotions. However, he never considered even for a moment that Raphael might see that freedom and the lack of outward emotional distress as evidence that Splinter didn't care about him and love him as much as his brothers, but as Splinter watched the undeniable proof of Raphael slowly accepting his brothers' harsh words as truth, Splinter realized just how much of this was his own fault. He couldn't imagine how he had failed his son so much that Raphael would actually believe that he had never loved him, but it was evident that he had.

He continued to stare at the screen lost for words and feeling as though every hurt his son endured was his own. The pain nearly overwhelmed him, but Splinter knew that he needed to watch every moment of this if he was going to somehow repair his family and make them stronger. However, just when Splinter thought that his son's torture couldn't get any worse he saw Michelangelo and Leonardo force feed Raphael a cockroach. The mere thought of having to endure that was humiliating and disgusting, and Splinter certainly didn't have a phobia of the insects the way Raphael did. He honestly wondered if there was anything worse his brothers could have possibly done to him, and just when Splinter had decided that no, there really wasn't, the worst sound that he had ever heard in his entire life seemed to drown out every other in the room. There was nothing that could have ever prepared Splinter for the terrible cracking sound of his son's shell being split open by his brothers' relentless attacks.

Splinter's tears fell with renewed vigor as he listened to Michelangelo tell Raphael that he was a disgrace as a brother, knowing that there were few words that could have damage his most standoffish son more than that. He placed his head in his clawed hands and allowed all of his sorrow for his suddenly broken son to flow freely. Soon he would have to decipher a plan to help heal his family, but for this moment all Splinter could do was drown in the pain, despair, and hopelessness of it all. His son had been torn down, taken apart, and destroyed by his own family, and Splinter knew a fair portion of the blame rested on his own shoulders. After all, a son should never doubt his father's love. Evidentially, somewhere along the way, Splinter had failed his son long before his brothers attacked.

XYZXYZ

Raph was sprawled out on his plastron, silently allowing Donnie to scrub down his shell and obsess over the crack like he always did. It was different this time, though Raph had no idea why. Donnie hadn't spoken at all when he entered the room. Instead, he merely held up the bucket of soapy water and the rag, and Raph had rolled over without a word. He watched Donnie's stiff movements as he made his way over toward the bed, and saw the minute tremble in his hands as he dipped the rag into the water. Raph was tempted to ask what was wrong, but Donnie's expression seemed to kill the words before they left Raphael's mouth. He looked scared, lost, and exhausted…more-so than he had any other time, including that very first day when Raph had insisted on returning to his own room. The very thought of it had Raph squirming under Don's ministrations.

"Did…did I hurt you?" Donnie's voice was small and weak as he practically tore the rag away from Raph's shell.

Raph shook his head as much as he could, while trying not to move too much. "Nah, water's a bit cold. That's all. I'm fine." He tried to sound as reassuring as possible. He didn't know what was wrong with Donnie, but the last thing Raph wanted was to make his brother feel worse. He had done enough of that to all of them lately.

"Is it? I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that. I could go get warmer water, if you want. It'll only take a moment for me to…" Donnie trailed off suddenly as Raph grabbed his arm.

He still wasn't comfortable with physical contact, even when he was the one initiating it. Heck, Raph really only put up with Donnie touching him, because he knew he had no choice, but he put aside his own issues long enough to keep Donnie from running off. "I said it's fine, genius. Let it go and finish your crazy obsessive scrubbing."

"If you're sure…"

Raph could feel Donnie's arm muscle flex multiple times underneath his fingers, clearly unaccustomed to the physical contact and unsure if he should pull away or not. Raph nodded as he let go and allowed Donnie to return to his work. "I'm sure."

Just as Donnie was finishing up, and Raph managed to get into a sitting position, so Donnie could check his knee, they both jumped at the sound of a quiet but firm knock on Raphael's door. Raph cursed himself once again for that particular response, though it did strike him as a bit odd that Don had the same reaction he did. Neither one of them pointed it out; though Raph wanted to know why his brother was suddenly so tense when normally Donnie was the least reactive of all of his brothers. When Master Splinter entered the room, Raph's eyes immediately fell to the floor. He didn't want to have another conversation with his father, but Raph knew it was inevitable. He watched silently as Donatello kept his eyes downcast and made his way out of the room without speaking a single word to either of them.

It was then that Raph realized what had been bothering Donatello so much. Obviously, Master Splinter knew the truth, and Raph couldn't stop himself. He glanced up at his father with a beseeching expression that made his insides churn and his mouth grow dry. "It's not their fault. You can't blame them. They don't deserve to be disciplined. It's my fault. I should have been better. I should have fought harder. I should have done something."

XYZXYZ

Splinter stared at his son in utter disbelief. He should have known that even after everything Raphael would still fight to protect his brothers, even from their own father. "I have no intention of chastising you or your bothers. I may not entirely understand how this happened, but I do know that no one is truly to blame. However, we must deal with this latest transgression, if we are to be whole once more."

A tremor ran through Raphael's entire body. At first, Splinter believed it was due to Raphael's attempt at suppressing his fury, but, once he saw the tears gathering - but refusing to fall - in his most tenacious son's eyes, Splinter knew that the brewing storm was not one of anger, but one of immense sorrow. "There's nothing ta deal with. I failed. I should have been here, instead of running around the sewers. I deserved what happened ta me. They were right about me. I am nothing but a nuisance and you should have left me at that pet shop. I bet ya wish I had gotten lost in the sewers when I was a kid and stayed lost."

Splinter couldn't believe his ears. The anguish in his son's voice was nothing compared to the pain the boy's words caused the old rat. He immediately gathered his son into his arms, mindful of his various wounds, and held him tight. "No, my son, your brothers said many things, but they weren't true. I have always loved you as I have loved your brothers. I gave you space, because I thought it would be beneficial to you. I never suspected that it was hurting you. I'm sorry, my son."

Raphael was quiet for a long moment before he spoke. "It's okay. I understand."

Splinter could tell that Raphael was merely trying to appease him, and his words meant nothing. He knew that this couldn't be solved with a simple hug and a few choice words, but Splinter hadn't actually believed that his son would pretend that it had. The fact that Raphael felt the need to mollify him made Splinter's chest constrict. This was going to be ever harder than he had originally anticipated. However, the fact that Raphael was still willing to protect his brothers gave Splinter hope.

XYZXYZ

It had been days and Splinter had barely left Raph's side, which was driving Raph absolutely insane. The nightmares and flashbacks were still present, but they lacked the intensity from when they had originally started, but it seemed that with Master Splinter's return so did the frequency of which Raph suffered the reminder of what had been done to him. He knew that the constant presence of his father shouldn't have been making Raph's teeth grind together and his annoyance heighten, but it had been forever since he had gotten out of the lair and the regular shadowing was making his already tense muscles ached. He was sure that the nightmares and flashbacks were partly to blame for his sudden grumpiness, but having eyes on him all of the time certainly wasn't helping. Raph just wanted to get away from it all…away from his father's persistent hovering…away from his brothers' downcast eyes…away from the oppressive atmosphere…away from the relentless expressions of shame and guilt….away from the constant reminders. He just needed to get out for awhile that was all, but he knew none of them would allow it. Still, he was a ninja and Raph was sure that even with Splinter's unrelenting eyes on him he could figure something out.

XYZXYZ

Mikey was standing in front of the stove just staring blankly. He needed to add something to the pot sitting on the front burner, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was. He was just about to grab…whatever it was, when his mind started wandering and now he couldn't think at all. His head hurt and his eyes kept drooping. Mikey knew that the lack of sleep from listening to Raph's increasing nightmares was finally catching up to him, but that didn't explain his current predicament. He turned away from the stove, desperately searching for something to jog his memory, but was interrupt by the smell of something burning. He stopped and tried to figure out what could possibly be burning. Sure, there was a pot on the stove, but it just had water in it so far and water couldn't burn…well, not unless Leo was attempting to cook something.

Mikey was questioning if he had accidently turned on the oven, still not turning around to face the stove. He had to figure this out, and then he had to remember what he was going to put in the pot. He was just about to search the refrigerator for something when he felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him. "Mikey, what's wrong with you? Why would you leave a potholder on the burner, and, more importantly, why didn't you do anything when it started to burn?"

Mikey stared owlishly at Donnie who was frantically trying to put out said potholder. "I…I don't know."

Donnie paused in his attempt to douse the flames to check on Mikey, leaving the still burning potholder in the sink. "Are you okay? You don't look well."

Mikey shook his head, but the movement caused his already pounding headache to intensify and he ended up clutching the sides of his head. Before Mikey could say anything, Donnie screamed for Leo and Sensei, which only increased his pain levels. "Shhh, D, do you have to be so loud?"

The other two came running into the kitchen, and began coughing and choking on the smoke slowly filling the kitchen. "What happened in here?" 

Donnie shrugged as he pushed Mikey into a chair and began checking him over. "I don't know. I smelled something burning and came in here to find Mikey just staring into space while that potholder was on fire."

Mikey opened his mouth to reply, but immediately began choking on the noxious fumes. He watched silently as Leo resumed Donnie's efforts to put out the potholder and sensei tried to air out the room as much as possible. Someone had shut off the stove, though Mikey didn't know who. "Sorry, guys I zoned out a little."

Donnie was still checking him over, and Mikey could tell that he wasn't completely convinced that there wasn't something seriously wrong with him. "I'll say. When's the last time that you slept?"

Mikey shrugged, and then stared down at the floor. "It hasn't exactly been easy lately." For once, Mikey refrained from saying anything else. Everyone knew they were all struggling to sleep lately, and everyone knew why. There was no reason to go into more detail.

Donnie merely shook his head and began leading Mikey out of the kitchen. "Come on, I'm gonna give you something to help you sleep." He glanced over his shoulder back at Master Splinter and Leo. "I'll be back to help clean up."

"Very well, my son." Mikey could hear the exasperation in his father's tone and wanted to sink into the floor. He had thought that things would be easier now that their father had returned, but it seemed as though everything only got harder.

Donnie dragged him along. "Come on, Mikey." Michelangelo didn't say a word as he leaned heavily on his brother.

XYZXYZ

Raph had emerged from his room just in time to see Leo and Splinter rush into the kitchen. He wanted to make sure everyone was okay and see what was going on, but Raph knew that he probably wouldn't get another chance, so, instead of heading for the kitchen like everyone else, he ducked back into his room as quickly as possible, grabbed Spike, and made a break for the lair entrance. He knew it would be faster and easier if he left Spike in his room, but Raph still wasn't comfortable being too far away from his pet, and, quite frankly - no matter how much he hated himself for it - Raph still couldn't trust any of them around Spike for very long. Besides, he figured Spike would enjoy a little time away from the lair as well. He hobbled through the sewers, doing his best to keep from banging his cast or knee brace too much. Raph was certain that he was going to get the lecture of a lifetime from Donnie when he finally returned, but he just so desperately needed some time to himself away from everyone else.

XYZXYZ

After they finally got the fire contained and dealt with, Master Splinter decided cereal was the best course of action for breakfast. Since Mikey was already asleep, thanks to whatever Donnie had given him, Leo offered to take Raph's breakfast to him. After all, he hadn't seen his brother since Master Splinter's return, and he didn't want Raph to think that he had abandoned him or anything. He listened at the door for a moment, unsure if Raph was even awake yet, and, when he heard nothing, gave a light knock. He didn't want to disturb his brother, but Leo knew that if they didn't force Raph to eat, then he wouldn't. Mikey had said that Raph was eating more than before, but he still had to be coaxed into it a bit.

When Leo pushed open Raph's door only to find the room empty, his throat tightened and his stomach cramped. He wasn't even consciously aware of the bowl sliding out of his hands and spilling all over the floor. What caught his attention, however, was the abrupt whine that had escaped his throat. Leo knew that it was going to happen at some point. He had tried to prepare himself for this eventuality, but, even knowing that eventually Raphael would be well enough and willing to leave, Leo had still believed that he had more time…that Raph would wait until he, at least, had his cast off and had gotten the chance to say his piece. He expected Raphael to wait until he had told them what terrible brothers they were, and that he never wanted to see any of them again. He anticipated that Raph would leave in a fit of well deserved rage…not quietly without anyone noticing.

Leo wanted to call for Master Splinter, but he couldn't get the words out. Every time that he tried his throat closed up. He wanted to believe that this was just like any other time, and that Raph had just stormed out to blow off steam. He wanted to believe that in a few hours Raphael would be back, and the family would continue on as they always had, but Leo knew that wasn't the case. After all, if Raphael had truly intended to return, then he wouldn't have felt the need to take Spike with him. A large part of Leo wanted to rush out of the room and track down his brother, but Leonardo had meant what he said to Mikey all those weeks ago. He couldn't go after Raph, because he didn't have the right to go after him. After everything they had done to their most reticent brother, they owed him his space. If Raph wanted to leave, then Leo couldn't stop him. In fact, now that he thought about it, Leo doubted that he had ever had that power in the first place.

XYZXYZ

Splinter's ears twitched at the sound of a crash, and then a distressed whine coming from Raphael's room. His heart raced as his ran to his son's room, and when his eyes fell upon Leonardo's blank gaze at the empty room, Splinter knew that he was going to have to face his worst fear. From the moment that he had discovered what had truly happened to Raphael, Splinter had worried that the moment his most terse son was able to run away, then he would without a second of hesitation. It was why he had been keeping such a close eye on his son recently. He wanted to head off any sudden excursions into the sewers, especially while Donatello was still so worried about the possibility of shell rot and other diseases. However, it seemed that despite his still healing wounds, Raphael had seized the first opportunity that presented itself to leave the lair. Splinter couldn't necessarily say that he was surprised, but that didn't lesson his unease at all.

Splinter placed a clawed paw on his remaining son's shoulder and gently began to pull him from the room. "Come, Leonardo, we must alert your brothers of Raphael's disappearance, and then we shall all await his return together. I fear now more than ever Raphael needs time to himself."

Leonardo shook his head as he followed Splinter out of the room. "He's not coming back, sensei."

Splinter paused to face his eldest son. "Why are you so certain of this, my son?"

Splinter could see tears forming in Leonardo's eyes. "He took Spike with him."

The sudden realization that his son may very well not return at all, made Splinter's heart sink with despair. He had expected Raphael to run away. He had even anticipated that his most snappish son would stay away for an extended period of time while he tried to work through all of his thoughts and emotions, but Splinter had never envisioned that Raphael would stay away indefinitely. He didn't know what to say or do, so he merely dragged Leonardo into a tight embrace and began leading him toward Donatello's lab. "We must have faith and hope for the best." He knew that it wasn't what Leonardo desired to hear at the moment. However, Splinter had no other words of comfort for his son, especially since he had no other words of comfort for himself at the moment.

XYZXYZ

Raph finally decided to return to the lair in the early hours of the morning, fully expecting the longest lecture of his life from either Leo or Sensei. He knew that Donnie would wait until after he had a full eight hours of sleep to give Raph his own speech. After all, Donnie loved being at the top of his game when he was going to instruct Raph about the proper care of injuries and the affects that the various bacteria living in the sewers had on said injuries. He knew it was going to be an exceedingly long day, but he didn't care. The trek around the tunnels was completely worth it, and Raph felt better than he had in ages.

When he entered the lair, Raph was genuinely shocked that no one was waiting up for him, but he guessed it was far too late for the rest of them. After all, none of his family were as accustomed to late nights as he was. Raph was actually enjoying the reprieve from it all. He knew that once they all awoke he'd still have to endure the countless lectures, but for right now he took solace in the silence. He noiselessly made his way to his room with a sleeping Spike clutched in his good arm. He was absolutely worn out after his long hike through the sewers and wanted nothing more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Raph was hoping that for once he was too fatigued to dream.

XYZXYZ

Splinter sat in his room failing to meditate. It had taken him hours to usher his sons into their rooms and convince them to sleep. He was sure that all three of them had eventually cried themselves to sleep, but there was nothing he could do for them. There were no words of comfort that he could offer, and he worried that if Raphael didn't return then the haunted gazes, seemingly vacant expressions, and uncontrollable tears would become their new norm. He sighed heavily and tried to keep his own despair at bay. He had to remain strong and believe that in time Raphael would return to them, even if only to give his other sons hope.

His ears perked up at the unmistakable sound of someone entering Raphael's room. The heavy metal door always scraped the ground in a certain way that drew his attention. It was one of the ways he kept an eye on his most restless son without the turtle knowing. He slowly stood and stretched his stiff muscles, intent to discover which of his remaining sons was seeking comfort from their brother's empty room. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for another bout of his son's inconsolable misery.

When Splinter entered his son's room, he nearly stumbled when his eyes caught the distinctive shape of a cast and chipped shell. The instantaneous relief that flooded him was nearly overwhelming. Splinter took a moment to compose himself before approaching his most battered son. "My son, you came back." His bewilderment was evident even to his own ears.

Raphael slowly turned around to face Splinter, and merely gave a nonchalant shrug. "Well, yeah, it's not like I've got anywhere else to go, but if you want me to leave, I guess I can figure it out. I just…"

Splinter refused to listen to another word. He grabbed Raphael into a bone crushing hug and shushed him. "Of course, I want you here…none of us want you to leave. We're your family and we love you."

Raphael shifted uncomfortably and tried to shrug again. "Yeah, okay, sure."

Splinter shook his head, knowing that Raphael didn't believe a single word of it, but he didn't know what else he could say or do. The only thing that he knew how to do at this moment was hold his son and repeat how much he loved him. However, Raphael continued to struggle against his father's hold, but Splinter refused to let go. He couldn't…not after he had spent the entire day wondering if his son would ever return to him. After a long while, Raphael finally wrapped his arms around Splinter as well, and, even though Splinter knew that Raphael was merely giving in to make this stop, he didn't care, because for the first time since all of this had started his son was hugging him back.

"I love you. I have always loved you. You are my son. I gave you freedom because I thought it would help you. It was never meant to be a punishment or an indication that I did not care about you." He continued to hold Raphael until the turtle was asleep, hoping that even though his son did not believe him right now, he would eventually allow his father's words to enter his heart and soul and eventually even his mind.

XYZXYZ

Donnie wasn't sure if he was the first one up or merely the first one who decided to leave his room, but either way the lair was eerily quiet as he made his way to the coffee maker. He hadn't actually slept much the previous night, and he doubted that he would be able to focus on anything other than his missing brother, but it wasn't as though Don didn't have projects to keep himself busy and distracted from his crushing anxiety over the whole situation. The possibility that Raph would end up with shell rot or SCUD while traversing the sewers terrified him. It would be even worse if Raph didn't return, though Donnie didn't blame him one bit.

He sighed as he poured the coffee into his second favorite mug. It was going to be another long day, Donnie could tell. He was just about to take the first sip when he felt a heavy paw land on his shoulder. Donnie placed his mug down before turning toward his father, and inclining his head slightly. "Morning, Sensei." He didn't bother to say more than that. What more could he say?

Master Splinter gave a small smile as his own greeting. "Your brother returned late last night. Normally I would suggest allowing him to sleep, but I fear that would be ill-advised, given his condition."

Donnie blinked rapidly multiple times before his brain caught up with his father's words. "Wait, Raph's back? I've gotta go check his shell. Who knows what kind of bacteria he picked up from the sewer?" Donnie didn't even give his sensei or cup of coffee a second glance as he raced out of the room.

His mind was everywhere at once, and if it hadn't already been a well ingrained process now of days, Donnie would have completely forgotten to knock on Raph's door before entering his brother's room. That said, he didn't bother waiting for a response before pushing open the door and practically running to his brother's bedside. Raph, for his part, just looked groggy and confused. "What's up, Donnie?"

Don didn't say anything, and, for the first time in forever, didn't even think before moving. He dropped the bucket of soapy water onto the floor - not caring that some of it sloshed over the rim and onto the floor and his feet- and wrapped his arms tightly around Raph. "I…we didn't think you were going to come back."

Raph stiffened at the contact, but didn't push Donnie away, so Don just held on a little tighter. After a few moments, Raph seemed to have had enough and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, Don, you're kinda crushing my cast."

Donnie practically jumped away, afraid that he had possibly broken Raph's cast for a second time. "Sorry." He grabbed Raph's cast-clad arm and began examining the limb. There didn't seem to be any damage to the cast, though it was a dingy grey color, due to the dirt from the sewers, but Don didn't think it was too concerning. "Okay, now turn over. I've gotta clean your shell. You spent far more time in the sewers than I would have preferred."

Raph rolled his eyes as he turned over onto his plastron. "Any time in the sewers is more than you would prefer, Donnie."

It was the first time since this whole mess had started that Raph had actually spoken to him in more than grunts and simple words. Donnie would have been beaming, if he wasn't so focused on the crack in Raph's shell. "How did this get so grimy? What did you do…sit down with your back against the sewer walls for six hours?"

Raph shrugged as Donnie began to scrub his shell clean. "There was some leaning and stuff; damn leg gave out on me once and I ended up in a nasty puddle. Spike wasn't particularly fond of the fall, either, but I managed to keep him out of the muck."

Donnie paused in his ministrations for a moment. "Is your leg okay? Did the knee buckle from strain, or did the kneecap dislocate again, or did your calf muscle cramp? Did your stitches pop? I know I said you weren't in too much danger of that happening again, but I also wasn't expecting you to go traversing around the sewers, and…"

"Donnie," Raph's voice suddenly broke through Donnie's increasingly panicked rambling, and he paused. "Take a breath and chill. I overworked it and my knee buckled. I checked it when it happened, and rested just like I'm supposed ta. It's fine."

Donnie shook his head as he continued scrubbing Raph's shell. He really didn't want to start a fight, especially not now that Raph was finally willing to talk to him - though Donnie theorized that it was only due to sleep deprivation and the fact that Raph's run had calmed him - but Don was so tired of hearing Raph trying to convince all of them that he was okay. "I wish you would stop telling us that. We all know you're not fine. You know, it's okay to not be fine. Heck, it's expected after everything we did, and…"

"Donnie," Raph sighed heavily before continuing, "stop it. It wasn't your fault."

Donnie stared wide-eyed at his brother. After all, there was no doubt in Donatello's mind where the true blame for this incident should be placed. "How can you say that? Of course, it was my fault. I was the one who was messing with the mutagen. I'm the one who…"

"Don, stop!" Raph practically growled out the order. "I'm serious. Of course, you were messing with the mutagen. You were trying to find a retro-mutagen. No one blames you for what happened."

Donnie shook his head again. This wasn't the first time that Raph had told him that he didn't blame him, but this was the first time that Donnie actually believed he meant it, and for the life of him Don couldn't figure out why. If he was Raphael, he'd be blaming and hating Donnie for everything that had happened. It was the only logical response. Although, Donnie should have realized that Raphael wouldn't chose the logical reaction. After all, he never had before. "Well, I blame myself, Raph. It was my experiment."

"So what?" Raph clenched his fists tightly and look as if he was only moments from lashing out physically. Don was almost taken aback. After all, it had been quite some time since he'd seen this level of reaction out of his hot-tempered brother. "This is hardly the first experiment that turned out wrong, and you've never blamed yourself before, so why would you now?"

Donnie tried to control his own sudden irritation. It wouldn't do any good to lash out. He knew that, but at the same rate he felt a distinctive need to make Raphael understand. "Because this wasn't like any of those other experiments, Raph. No matter how much destruction I caused to the lair, you guys were still safe. Don't you get that? It didn't matter if I destroyed Mikey's skateboard, or the tv, or something silly like that, because I could replace or fix those. Yeah, sometimes it took me months to rebuild what I broke, but I could. This…" Donnie gestured widely towards Raph. "I can't fix this. I can't rebuild this. You're hurt, and not just physically, and it's my fault."

Raph looked like he was about to get up, but Donnie pushed him back down, since he wasn't finished cleaning his shell yet. Raph grunted in response, but didn't try to get up again. "No, it's not. I'm the one who didn't fight harder. I'm the one who wasn't here when you guys got exposed to the failed retro-mutagen. I'm the one who…"

Donnie took in a sharp breath as he clutched the wash cloth in his hand tightly. It wasn't as if he wasn't aware that Raph had been blaming himself this entire time, especially not after Mikey revealed to them what Raph had said to Master Splinter when he first returned home, but it still didn't make any sense to Donatello. "Wait, you're still blaming yourself? How in the world could you think this is your fault? You didn't do anything."

"That's the whole damn point, Donnie. I didn't do anything."

Donnie didn't know what to say to that. He knew that Raph was a stubborn turtle of action, but he had never imagined that this was the real reason Raphael blamed himself for what had happened. "Raph, we attacked you. The things we did…the things we said…no matter how you spin it, this was hardly your fault."

Raph looked away from him again, clearly tired of this conversation and merely wanting to put an end to it. "'Course, Don. Now, are ya gonna finish with my shell or am I gonna be stuck here all day?"

Donnie sighed heavily. He wanted to continue the dispute, but he knew that there was no point. In fact, Don figured he was lucky that he had gotten as much out of Raph as he had. He shook his head as he began drying off Raph's shell, checking for any signs of disease and making sure the shell was dried completely before leaving. He had to find some way to make Raph see reason, but then Donnie had been trying to do that for years, and he doubted that he was going to magically find a way to succeed now when he had failed so many times before.

XYZXYZ

Splinter had spent most of the day meditating on the best way to bring his family back together, and after hours of silent consideration he figured there was really only one way to address the issue and help his sons heal. He waited until the late afternoon to put his plan into motion. He needed the boys at their most relaxed, and, even with all of the tension running rampant through the lair lately, their normally scheduled downtime was when he knew he could find his sons at their calmest. He gathered all four of his boys into the dojo and allowed them to make themselves comfortable. He wasn't surprised that they all chose to kneel, with the exception of Raphael, who merely sat on the floor with his brace-clad leg outstretched in front of him.

Splinter waited for a long moment as the tension in the room grew. He tried to give his sons a reassuring smile, but it seemed to only make them edgier. He knew that this would be difficult for all of them, so Splinter started with Michelangelo, knowing that he would have the easiest time with this particular exercise. "As you all know, I'm aware of everything that has transpired while I was away, and it is long past time that we, as a family, have dealt with it. I know this will be difficult for all of you, but I'm hoping that this will allow all of you to move on."

He stood in front of Michelangelo now, who looked more nervous than that time he had destroyed Splinter's favorite tea mug. "Michelangelo, when you attacked Raphael you told him that the only one who could stand him was Spike, you also mocked him for talking to his pet, insisted that no one misses him when he is gone and that no one wants to be around him, called him useless, threatened his pet, inflicted multiple injuries, fed him a cockroach, you also declared that you wish I had left him at the pet store, and finally referred to him as a disgrace as a brother. Was any of that true?"

Michelangelo was shaking all over and there were tears running down his face as Splinter recounted all of his transgressions. He gasped through a sob and shook his head wildly. "No, none of it...I didn't mean a single word of it. I'm so sorry, Raph." He turned to face Raphael fully, who looked as if he was going to be sick. "I love you. We all love you, man. Of course, we want you around. I always worry when you run off, even though I know you need your space. Bro, I want to be around you as much as possible. Why do you think I pull so many pranks on you? You're never useless. How many times have you saved my shell in a fight? I can't count 'em all. I would never hurt Spike. I love Spike just as much as you do, you know that, right? I can't apologize enough for the roach, and there's no way I can possibly ever make up for that, but you have to know that, even though I rag on you a lot about your fear of them, I would never try to hurt you with it. We wouldn't be the same without you. We wouldn't be as strong without you, and…we wouldn't be whole without you. We need you. You could never be a disgrace as my brother…not when you fight so much for all of us."

Raphael swallowed hard, and Splinter could easily see the tears gathering in his verdant eyes. "I…I know. Thanks, Mikey. I love you too, bro."

Splinter watched with a tiny smile as Michelangelo practically threw himself at Raphael and wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. He could tell that Raphael actually meant those words, and it seemed that for the first time in a long time he was truly listening to them and hearing what they had to say.

He gave the boys a moment before clearing his throat and moved on to Donatello, who was staring directly at Splinter with a hard look, knowing full well what was to come now. "Donatello, when you attacked Raphael you threatened to use Spike as a test subject, called your brother pathetic, inflicted several wounds, claimed we would be better off without him, referred to your brother as a burden, declared I was sick of him, hoping he would not return to us, and that I left because of him. You referred to being around him as a punishment, and proclaimed that he destroyed everything that he touched. Was any of that true?"

Donatello turned away from Splinter and stared directly at Raphael. "No, not a single word of it. I would never use Spike as a test subject. Ignoring that it's ethically wrong, Spike is a part of the family. You could never be pathetic in my eyes. You're too good of a fighter, and we would be lost without you. You're no more of a burden than any of us. We all get hurt and we all make mistakes. It's a part of life. I would never look down on you for those things. Master Splinter cares for you just as much as he does for the rest of us, and I'm so sorry that I made you believe otherwise. Being around you is no more of a punishment than being around Mikey or Leo. We all drive each other crazy sometimes, but that's part of being brothers and part of being a family as well, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And sure, you break things sometimes, but so do Mikey, Leo, and even Sensei. That's hardly something I hold against you. Not to mention, you have been known to help me rebuild them or acquire new things from time to time. I love you, Raph."

Raphael feverishly rubbed his eyes to keep his tears at bay, and then nodded his head at Donatello. "Yeah, back at ya, bro."

Donatello wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder. "I meant what I said earlier, too. This wasn't your fault."

Raphael didn't respond, but he did lean his head back onto his brother's arm, which Splinter knew was the most he could expect out of his emotionally compromised son.

XYZXYZ

Leo could feel a tremor running through his entire body, and desperately tried to control it. He couldn't let the others see how much this whole thing was affecting him, but Leo couldn't help it. He was terrified of his turn, because, unlike the others, he couldn't say with absolute certainty that he didn't mean everything that he had said. He couldn't lie, either. Leo knew that if he tried both Master Splinter and Raphael would pick up on it immediately, but he also knew that, in this case, the truth would be just as detrimental to the family as any lie.

He braced himself for the worst, fully expecting Raph's rage, and honestly almost hoping for it. Leo didn't want to get into a physical altercation with his brother, but, at the same rate, it had been so long since Raph had actually argued with him that Leo was honestly starting to miss it. He knew that he deserved Raph's ire…deserved every hit, insult, and kick that Raph could possibly land. Heck, at this point, Leo was considering not even bothering to fight back. After all, how could he possibly defend himself after everything that he had done and said, especially when he still didn't know how much of it was his very own thoughts.

As Master Splinter took his place in front of him, Leo inclined his head fully ready to accept whatever would come. He decided that when Raph inevitably lost it after hearing the horrible truth, then Leo would take the well deserved beating without protecting himself at all, because that was what he truly deserved. "Leonardo, when you attacked Raphael you offered to allow Donatello to use Spike as a test subject, threatened to harm your brother's pet, claimed he was never worth listening to, inflicted multiple severe wounds, insulted his capabilities as a warrior, referred to your brother as a nuisance, helped Michelangelo feed Raphael a cockroach, and finally, you insinuated that your brother was a disgrace as a ninja. Was any of that true?"

Leo glanced up at his father uncertainly. He had listened to each offense carefully while he tried to form his response, but when Leo realized that Master Splinter wasn't going to mention the things that he had actually meant, it didn't cause relief to fill him. Instead, he felt sick to his stomach that even his father knew what Leo had tried so hard to hide. He bowed his head in shame before speaking, refusing to look at Raph as his brothers had. "I would never allow Spike to be harmed, you must know that. Of course, you're worth listening to. Your objections, while not always appreciated, are useful. They push me to be a better leader and devise better plans." Leo paused for a moment to glance over at Raph. "I'm sorry for all of the physical wounds and insulting your capabilities. You're a strong fighter. None of us can deny that. There is nothing I can do to atone for the cockroach, but I am truly remorseful. You're a great ninja. I really am sorry." He turned to face Raph fully, knowing that, at the very least for this last assertion, he needed to look him in the eye. "I want you to know that I do love you, little brother."

Raph stared back at him for a long moment before nodding. He didn't say anything, though Leo honestly didn't expect him to. He didn't know what was going to happen now, but he did know that if his relationship with Raphael was damaged beyond repair, then Leo had no one to blame but himself. He wasn't sure how he would deal with it if Raph hated him now, but he knew he couldn't and wouldn't ever blame Raph.

XYZYXZ

Splinter stared down at his sons sadly. He wasn't expecting everything to turn around right away, but, given the reactions the other two had received, he was hoping that Leonardo would garner something more from his brother than a blank expression. However, Splinter knew he shouldn't be surprised. The pain Leonardo had caused his brother went far deeper than the other two, given their particular rivalry and Leonardo's pension for attacking his brother's weaknesses in other fights. Unfortunately, Splinter knew there wasn't much more he could do for them. He had no choice but to sit back and hope his sons would be able to come together now that the majority of their issues had been addressed and brought out into the open. He only hoped that his two most obstinate children would find a way to move past this and become stronger, instead of allowing it to tear them apart.

XYZYXZ

Raph remembered that fight…every word…every injury. It was ingrained into his mind and replayed almost constantly in his dreams, and, despite what the others might have thought, he wasn't stupid. He knew why Splinter had only addressed certain aspects of Leo's attack, and it hadn't been to save Raph from having to face it. It hurt knowing the portions of that fight that Leo had meant, but Raph had never really been a fan of useless pandering, so he figured there wasn't much he could do about it.

After all, he could deal with Leo believing they were better off without him, and thinking he was a nuisance who got them into trouble more often than not. It wasn't as though Leo was wrong about that, and Raph he could also handle knowing that Leo hoped he didn't bother coming home…no matter how much it hurt. The only thing he couldn't deal with was being around Leo for long periods of time while trying to hide his pain, so he didn't bother. It wasn't extremely hard to avoid him. The only time the whole family really spent a lot of time together was during practice - which Raph still couldn't participate in - meals, and the few times Master Splinter gathered them all together to watch a movie or something, and it wasn't as though Leo was going to try to force the issue either.

As for Donnie and Mikey, well…Raph found it a bit easier to be around those two. After all, it was clear in the dojo that they hadn't meant anything that they said or did, and, given that Master Splinter felt no need to hold back with those two, Raph felt a little more comfortable spending time with them. However, he still found physical contact to be a bit too much for him to handle most days, which wasn't really a problem with Donnie - the guy was rarely physical with any of them, be it affectionately or otherwise - but it was beginning to become a strain with Mikey. Mikey had always been the most physically affectionate one out of all of them, and the more time Raph spent with him, the more he would throw his arms around Raph randomly or tackle him from behind. Mikey was always cautious about his still healing appendages, but the sheer amount of physical contact was driving Raph crazy.

However, every single time that Raph was just fed up enough to do something about it, Donnie seemed to notice and would either drag Raph away to go clean his shell or send Mikey to do some chores, and honestly right now Raph couldn't be more grateful for his genius brother as he managed to do just that once again. "Thanks, Donnie." He followed his most intellectual brother into his lab, so Donnie could check on his shell again.

Donnie shrugged as he gestured for Raph to sit down. "You know he means well. He's just exuberant, especially now that you're willing to spend time with him."

Raph sighed as he turned to give Donnie a good view of his shell. "Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean it doesn't get on my nerves, though."

Donnie hummed in agreement. "Well, I appreciate you refraining from smacking him upside the head. I really don't want to have to recast your arm."

Raph glared down at said appendage. Recently, it had actually been bothering him more than the leg brace for a multitude of reasons. "Speaking of which, how much longer until I can get this thing off?"

Donnie paused in his ministrations to stare at Raph's cast-clad arm. "Um, I would say probably another couple of weeks, but I could scan it to give you a more accurate timescale."

Raph shrugged. He knew the scan wouldn't take long, but he didn't really want to be in the lab longer than necessary. The room still bothered him for some reason, though Raph wasn't exactly sure why. "If you want, and you're not too busy. It's just so damn itchy, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Donnie tried to smother his laughter, but Raph could hear his obvious snickering behind his hand. "Yeah, that generally happens. If you let me do it for you, I can probably find something that'll fit between your arm and the cast that could gently scratch, but I really don't suggest doing it on your own. It's too easy for you to break the cast or injure yourself."

"Donnie, I'd let you pour acid down the thing if it would help."

Donnie chuckled again as he shook his head. "Okay, that really won't be necessary. Just give me a second to see what I have." It only took a few moments before Donnie was back in front of him holding a long piece of an old wire hanger that had been mostly straightened out. "Alright, I'm going to gently slide this in between your cast and arm, if it hurts tell me." Donnie slowly began to thread the wire underneath the cast and Raph watched with a bored expression. When the wire was finally all the down by Raph's fingers Donnie began to carefully move it up and down and back and forth. "Feel free to direct me."

Raph gave Donnie a few directions until his skin was no longer as irritated as it had been. When Donnie was finished Raph sighed in relief. "Man, that's the second time you've helped me out today. You're easily becoming my favorite brother."

Donnie breathed out a laugh as he replaced the bent out of shape hanger from where he got it. "Well, you might regret saying that soon. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Raph immediately tensed at Donnie's words, but he forced himself to relax as Don returned to his examination of Raph's shell. "Yeah, what's that?"

"What's going on with you and Leo?"

"Nothing." Normally the word would be spat out as quickly as possible as Raph became defensive, but not this time, because this time there was no reason to be defensive. It wasn't a lie. There really was nothing going on with them, because right now they weren't even talking, even during meals Raph made sure not to say a word to him or even glance in his general direction, and Leo didn't bother trying to address him either.

Donnie sighed heavily. "Are you mad at him?"

Raph wanted to laugh; instead he just shook his head. Usually the answer to that question was an automatic affirmative, but, the fact of the matter was, Raph couldn't be mad at Leo, because he didn't really even blame Leo. It wasn't Leo's fault that Raph was a constant screw-up, who made Leo wish that he only had two little brothers instead of three. "Nah, no reason to be."

"Then why have you been ignoring him."

"Don't know if you've noticed, Don, but big brother hasn't really wanted anything to do with me, either." Raph shrugged after a moment. "It's okay, though. 'Least we're not fighting." He wasn't exactly sure which one of them he was trying to convince, but Raph figured that it didn't really matter. "You done? I was gonna go read for a while."

Donnie looked like he wanted to say something else, but, for whatever reason, decided against it. "Yeah, I'm done. Make sure you keep your shell dry."

"Sure thing, Don." Raph practically ran out of the room - at least as much as he could - past the dojo, and up the few stairs to his own room. He studiously kept his eyes from wandering to Leo's open door as he walked past it. It took nearly everything he had in him not to slam the door behind him, but Raph managed, if only so it wouldn't draw more attention to him.

XYZYXZ

Splinter sat in a lotus position, inhaling deeply the scent of his favorite incense while he meditated. The past couple of weeks had brought him great joy as well as great distress. Three of his sons were getting along better than they had in years, and, with the removal of Raphael's cast, the injured turtle's mood was greatly improving. However, Raphael's training was still limited while they worked to strengthen his wrist, hand, and knee, the latter of which was still in the knee brace Donatello had fashioned for him as a precaution. None of them wanted Raphael to endure a permanent knee injury, so he accepted the necessity for it with a disgruntled scowl and his trademark glare, which was something Splinter had sorely missed as of late…not that he would ever admit that out loud.

Splinter and Donatello had both agreed that they didn't want to strain Raphael's newly healed hand, wrist, foot, and knee, so the slowly healing turtle was left frustrated and annoyed with his new limitations. However, Michelangelo and Donatello seemed to have a gift when it came to distracting Raphael from his foul moods with video games, various exercises, and new reading material. Splinter was relieved to see the three of them getting along so well, even if they had a tendency to get a bit rowdy and Raphael's annoyance with his current circumstances sometimes led to an explosive tirade before he secluded himself in his bedroom. He would certainly never admit to Raphael that he had missed his son's temper, but it was good to see things returning to normal…or at least their version of normal.

However, none of that detracted from the situation between Leonardo and Raphael. Their relationship had deteriorated into nothing. They didn't spend any significant amount of time together, they never spoke with one another, and they hardly even glanced in each other's direction. Splinter could see how the rift between the two of them was becoming a strain on the whole family. Donatello and Michelangelo spent all of their time torn between their two older brothers, desperately trying to be supportive and available to both at all times, while attempting to keep the amount of time they spent with both older brothers hidden from said turtles. Needless to say, it was a draining and futile effort that was weighing heavily on his youngest sons.

Leonardo was still having trouble mediating. It would take him twice as long to finally reach a meditative state as normal, and when he finally did reach a meditative state, Leonardo only managed to remain in said state for a few moments. Splinter had to guide him through most of his mediations as if he was teaching him how to do so for the first time. Their family dinners had become awkward and stunted as the two eldest did everything short of eating in separate rooms to avoid interacting with each other. The tense atmosphere was strenuous for Splinter and all of his sons, which caused all of them to rush through their meals, often times resulting in an upset stomach for Donatello. As for family movie marathons…well, the two older turtles didn't argue through the entire movie anymore, because they sat on opposite sides of the room, acting as if the other didn't even exist.

Splinter sighed heavily as he thought over everything that had been going on recently. The only reason he had allowed the two of them to continue on in this fashion for so long was because Splinter feared that his involvement would corrode the progress Raphael had made with Donatello and Michelangelo, and he didn't wish to disrupt the delicate balance the three of them had slowly regained. In addition to all of that, Splinter had honestly hoped that Leonardo and Raphael would somehow work out their grievances together. However, it was evident that if he didn't step in once again, then the two of them would never truly reconcile. His mediation on the matter had yet to yield a solution and Splinter wondered once more if his family was beyond repair. He pondered the possibility that there was no resolution to be found, and perhaps, if there was, then he was not meant to discover it on his own.

It was all tremendously troubling, and left him with very few options. He only hoped that his involvement didn't deteriorate his sons' relationship further, though he couldn't see how such an event could possibly occur, given their currently nonexistent bond. Splinter breathed in deeply once more, calming himself as much as possible, and then left his room. He had promised to do whatever it took to repair his family…no matter how unpleasant, and he meant every word of it.

XYZXYZ

Leo knelt before his sensei, waiting for the inevitable. He knew that Master Splinter wouldn't allow him to continue ignoring Raph forever, but he wasn't really sure what his father expected from him. It wasn't as though he could take back the things that he had said or done to Raphael. He couldn't deny that he had even meant some of the awful things he had said, and he couldn't hide that now all of his family knew what a terrible brother he was. He steeled himself as much as he possibly could as he waited for his sensei to pass down his judgment and punishment. Leo would accept whatever his father deemed necessary. After all, whatever Master Splinter could duel out was only a fraction of what Leo believed he deserved.

"My son, I have noticed the growing rift between you and Raphael. It is becoming a heavy burden for you as well as the rest of our family. It is a weight that we can no longer endure. I would like to know your plan for reconciling with your brother."

Leo stared up at his father for a long moment, unsure of what to say, and then dropped his gaze to his hands. Surely, his sensei knew that if he had a solution, then he would have already taken the necessary steps towards reconciling with Raph. As it stood, Leo didn't honestly think that a resolution existed, but the longer that he thought about it, the more only one option made any sense. "I need to step down as leader."

Master Splinter shook his head. "It is unnecessary for you to resign. It would not solve your problems with Raphael. In fact, I believe it would only exasperate them. The current strife between you two has nothing to do with you being leader and everything to do with you being brothers."

"How so?" Leo rarely disagreed with his father's assessment of a situation, but this time was different…everything about this entire situation was different. "I can't lead them…not when I'm the reason that our team is still in shambles. Raphael never liked me as leader, anyway, and I don't deserve to be leader. Not after what I did. We all know that I can't make amends for everything that I said the way the other two have, because I meant what I said…not all of it, of course, but…but that doesn't really matter, now does it?"

"I'm certain it matters to Raphael."

Leo scoffed as he continued to stare at his hands, wondering if his sensei had been paying attention lately. "Why? Why would it?"

"The words you meant were not the words that have hurt Raphael the most. Those wounds are separate and must be addressed separately, which is something you cannot do while avoiding each other, therefore, I am left with little choice." There was a long pause as dread filled Leo. He was sure that things couldn't get any worse, but from the tone of his father's voice, Leo was starting to doubt if that was actually true. "I'm afraid I only know one way for you two to begin repairing the damage that has been done. I know it will take time, and that you will both be reluctant at first, but I truly have no other solution for you, my son. You and Raphael will begin spending three consecutive hours a day with each other every day until this issue is resolved."

Leo could hardly believe his ears. He wasn't sure if this was a punishment for him or Raph, at this point, either way, he doubted that this was going to have the desire effect that Master Splinter was hoping for. Still, Leo knew better than to argue with his sensei when Master Splinter used that particular tone of voice, so Leonardo merely inclined his head before leaving the room. He had every intention of going to his room and trying to mediate, but when Leo heard Master Splinter beckon Raphael to join him in the dojo, Leo knew that he wasn't going to reach inner peace any time soon.

XYZXYZ

Splinter was at his wits end. He hoped that forcing his two eldest sons into interacting would compel them to finally deal with everything that had happened, but so far they just sat in a room together, silently staring off into space. He knew that he couldn't actually force a confrontation between the two of them, but this was the fourth day in the row that he had witnessed his sons doing nothing and it was getting frustrating. Still, Splinter knew that he had to give it time, so, with nothing more than a pointed glare in Leonardo's direction, he made his way toward the kitchen and some much needed tea.

XYZXYZ

Leo sat on the couch next to Raph wondering what the point of this was. Raph never spoke to him. He never even bothered to glance in Leo's direction, and Leo certainly wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. This was his punishment and he would endure it for as long as Master Splinter saw fit, though he had to admit the constant glares he got from his sensei were grating on his nerves. This was pointless. There was nothing he could say or do to fix their relationship and Leo couldn't think of a single reason Raph would want to repair it in the first place. He sighed heavily as he watched his sensei pass though the room to the kitchen once again. Maybe it was time that Leo at least tried to talk, though he didn't really have a topic in mind. He suddenly turned towards Raphael before Leonardo could talk himself out of it. "So, Raph, you've been spending a lot of time with Donnie and Mikey lately. Have the three of you finish that game you've been obsessing over yet?"

Leo waited for something…anything, but Raph didn't respond - not that Leo really expected him to. He tried various other forms of small talk for almost an hour, but each time Leo was just met with more silence. At this point, he wasn't really sure why he bothered trying. He wanted Master Splinter to see that he gave it his best shot, but, more than that, Leo wanted to have some kind of relationship with Raphael again, even if it was just superficial banter now and then. The silence between them was oppressive, and it made Leo long for some kind of connection…any kind of connection, even if he knew there was no way for him to regain what he had evidently lost.

The longer the silence stretched the more Leonardo thought about the fight with Raph, which led to him thinking about all of their previous arguments. He never really knew how most of them started. It seemed as if most of the time Raph was just already in a mood and Leo just happened to be Raphael's outlet. Sometimes, though, it seemed like Leo just had a certain talent for saying exactly the wrong thing to Raph or at least phrasing things in way that made the aggressive turtle take offense almost immediately. He was never really sure who was truly at fault for those scuffles, but the blame almost always landed on Leo's shoulders. Maybe that's why this fight was so hard for him to deal with. There was no doubt that this actually was his fault. Raph hadn't done anything to deserve what had happened to him, and Leo had been cruel enough to attack him in ways that he had never even dreamed he was capable of. Not to mention, no matter how horrible the two of them tended to be to each other when things got heated, Leo never actually said what he was thinking most of the time.

"You know, I never really understood why we fought all of the time. It always seemed like no matter what I said or did, I just pissed you off. It was like the only time we got along was when we gained up on the other two, and I never wanted that. I wanted us to have more than our rivalry, but you never let me get close to you. That use to drive me up a wall. Every time I tried to talk to you I got some kind of attitude; be it sarcasm, your anger, or your pride…somehow…someway you always seemed to keep me at a distance, and I never really understood why. You questioned every order and that made me doubt myself. You always had a way of making me doubt myself and that drove me crazy, but it also pushed me to be better. Still, I never really understood why you did it." Leo didn't even realize he was speaking out loud until he stopped. He was waiting for the explosion…the blame, and still there was nothing. He glanced over to Raph only to see him staring down at the floor, refusing to meet Leo's gaze.

Leo sighed heavily. "I just…I don't get it and I wish you would talk to me." He paused and didn't look away from Raph, still waiting, and after a long moment when he received nothing, Leo's own anger flared. He got to his feet and stood before Raph, grabbing his brother by the shoulders and practically shaking him. "Come on, do something! Yell at me! Hit me! Take it out on me! I deserve it! Punish me for what I did!"

Raph shook his head and tried to knock Leo's hands away from him, but Leo wouldn't allow it. He knew that if he let Raph get off of the couch, then that would be the end of it and they would never have this out, so he forced his brother to stay seated. Raph glared at him in a way that Leo hadn't seen since Raph was injured. Every time Raph stormed off in frustration before this, the old rage seemed almost faked for the sake of his family. Leo didn't think the others could really tell the difference, but he could. He always knew the difference between Raph's outward displays of ire for the sake of protecting himself and his real fury. This…this was right on the cusp of something honest…something real. "What do you want me to say? Do you want to hear how I used to hate you, because you hated me, but now…now I get it? I get why you hate me and I agree with you. I am all those things you said I am. I am a burden and a waste and I do deserve what ya did."

Leo released his brother as if he had been burned. "You…you don't actually believe that, do you?" He couldn't believe his ears, but Leo knew what he saw in his brother's eyes. Raph was telling the truth and it was tearing Leo apart. He could feel the tears slowly streaming down his face, but Leo didn't care. "I…I don't hate you. I never hated you."

Raph glared at him for a long moment, but Leo could tell that Raph was assessing him…looking for the lie. Leo wasn't worried, though, because there was none to be found. "Why not? I'm a problem. I've always been a problem. I'm angry and brash, I get us into fights, and I start even more confrontations here. I'm the cause of most of our contention. "

Leo just shook his head. Sure, he had said the very same things, and meant most of them, but that wasn't any reason that he shouldn't love his brother. "You're my brother, Raph. How could I ever hate you?"

Raph glanced down again, and Leo knew that whatever Raph was about to say wasn't going to be pleasant. "I don't know, but you should."

"Why?" Leo was confused. He spent all of this time thinking that Raph hated him for everything he had done, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Raph scoffed and looked away again, as if he couldn't bear to meet Leo's eyes. "Because I hate me."

The confession had Leo's eyes widening in shock and dismay. "Why would you hate yourself? This isn't your fault."

"You think it's just because of this?" Raph gestured to himself and the lair in general, but Leo knew what he meant. He was referring to their fight. "Yeah, all of this is my own damn fault. I should have been at the lair, but it's more than that. Everything you guys said about me…it's true, and I've always known that. This just forced me to face it."

"It's not true just 'cause we said it, Raph. We weren't ourselves, and…"

"And the failed retro-mutagen just let you say it out loud without censoring yourselves."

Leo shook his head, unsure of why Raph was denying the obvious. "You know that's not true. Otherwise, you wouldn't have forgiven Mikey and Donnie. You know that whatever it did to us, it didn't do that."

"Okay, so it altered the chemicals in your brains and induced a large amount of testosterone and adrenalin, while decreasing the amount of serotonin. Donnie has a theory that it somehow activated something in the brain called the angular gyrus - at least, I think that's what he called it - but he won't be able to prove that without reintroducing the failed reto-mutagen into someone's system, which he obviously doesn't want to do, but none of that means that those thoughts weren't there to begin with." Leo just stared at Raph blankly while he tried to process all of that information. Raph glared at Leo's obvious lack of understanding and growled out an annoyed, "What?"

Leo shook his head again and gave a small smirk. "You've been spending too much time with Donnie."

Raph shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with the way Leo was looking at him. It wasn't as though Leo ever assumed Raph was stupid, but even he would have had issues repeating all of that. "He spent a lot of time going over the data and needed someone to talk at while he tried to figure it out, and, since I spent so much time with him getting my shell washed and stuff, I guess I made a pretty good sounding board."

Leo chose not to mention how it probably had more to do with how little Raph had been speaking with all of them until recently, and merely nodded instead. "I can see that, but you know Mikey and Donnie didn't mean anything that they said. We both know that they didn't, so why argue this point?"

Raph folded his arms over his plastron as he glared. "You're the one arguing what we both already know. You meant everything you said. You just want to use the failed retro-mutagen as an excuse."

Leo shook his head and sighed with an air of defeat. "I didn't mean everything, but I know that doesn't matter."

Raph's glare only intensified. "It matters."

Leo huffed out a breath. Apparently, he should have listened to Master Splinter, not that Leo ever really doubted his sensei in the first place. He just didn't know how to put everything that he had been thinking into words. "Does it?"

"Look, I get it, okay?" Raph growled out in annoyance. "You don't actually have to baby me. It wasn't a huge surprise that ya think I'm a bad ninja, a worthless brother, and a waste of time. I really don't see why Splinter is forcing us to do this. It's not like there's any point. We both know you wish ya only had two little brothers, and I'm not one of the ones you want."

Leo's eyes widened in shock and it took him a moment before he could speak. "That's not true! None of that is true! Look, you can be a pain. You're frustrating. You question every order. You never listen. You rush into fights, and yeah, sometimes we get in over our heads because of your decisions, but that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. It doesn't mean that I don't want you as my brother. It just means that you have a tendency to aggravate me to no end, but I'm sure I annoy you too. That's what brothers do. I don't know why you leave all of the time…why you feel like that's your only option, but I spend the majority of the time that you're gone worrying."

Raph was silent for a long moment, and Leo waited for the next explosion. Instead, all he received was another hot glare. "Yeah, you do irritate me a lot sometimes, but I've never said that I didn't want you to come home…and if I have, I certainly never meant it."

Leo hung his head in shame. He knew that was going to end up being the focal point to this entire conversation. After all, it was his greatest disgrace. "I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I really am. I don't even think that that often. It's just…you know, when our fights get really bad, and I know there's no excuse for that. But you have to know that you're my brother and if anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do. I was so scared when we found you in that trash heap. I was so sure that you had gone topside and...well, it doesn't matter now."

Raph glanced over at him, evidently skeptical about everything Leo had to say. "What doesn't matter now?"

Leo sighed heavily. He didn't really see a point in bringing up everything that he had thought before he knew the truth about what they had done, but if it was going to keep Raph talking, Leo couldn't really refuse him. "Before I knew that we were the ones who…you know, I thought you went after Shredder alone and the thought terrified me. All I kept wondering was what could have possibly pushed you to that end, but…"

"You really think that I'd be that stupid? Damn, Leo, really?" Raph was shouting and looked as if he was two seconds away from hitting him…not that Leo really blamed him.

He shook his head as he exhaled noisily. "Ordinarily, no, but you don't know what you looked like when we found you. I couldn't imagine anyone else who could have gotten close enough to you to cause that amount of damage, and…and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we could have pushed you that far, but, as I said, it really doesn't matter now."

"How could you guys have pushed me that far? I mean, before all of this." Raph gestured broadly to himself once again.

Leo turned to face Raph fully. He wanted him to understand exactly what he thought and why he felt that way. He didn't want this to be another source of confusion and contention between them. "Come on, Raph, even you must realize how bad our fights had gotten, and I know that when you go out you don't really think about or care what kind of trouble you get into. I doubt you would ever deliberately get into a fight with Shredder, especially if you were alone, but I think that if you were angry enough, you wouldn't necessarily run from a fight with him, either, if the two of you had just happened to cross paths while you were out."

Raph merely shrugged at the accusation as he shifted further away from Leo. "Well, I can't really argue that, but I wouldn't refuse to run for the reasons that you think."

Leo was confused by Raph's assertion. What other reason could there possibly be for Raph's constant refusal to run? "What do you mean?"

Raph rolled his eyes. "Leo, there's no way I would run just to lead Shred-head back here. If it meant taking him head on…well, then I'd do it, and no, I wouldn't care about the outcome."

The very idea of Raph taking Shredder on alone made Leo's stomach turn. He always knew that Raph was reckless and willing to do anything to save his family, but hearing him overtly state that he would gladly take on Shredder alone was something Leo could have lived without. "But what about us?"

Raph turned to face him fully, clearly perplexed by the inquiry. "What about you?"

Leo scoffed at how oblivious Raphael was currently acting. "Don't you think that we'd rather fight together to take him down, and then find a new home than to live in this one without you?"

Raph shrugged nonchalantly once more. "You don't need me, Leo. We both know that."

Leo didn't even think about it. He just lunged at Raph and wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he could. "That's where you're wrong, Raphael. Of course, I need you. We all do. You're our brother…our family. You're a part of this team, and we don't work without all of the parts, so stop being stupid."

Raph tried to push him away, but Leo wasn't having it. He just held on tighter as Raph continued to struggle. The minor scuffle went on for a good five minutes before Raph rolled his eyes and just accepted that he wasn't going to be able to pry Leo off of him any time soon. "Leo, you're getting your sap on me."

"Don't care." Leo tightened his grip, just to make sure that Raph wasn't going to be able to slip away. "I'm not letting go until you understand that you're not expendable and I care about you. I get that we have a lot of issues and that none of this is going to be solved with a stupid hug, but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to allow this to continue. I never wanted anything to happen to you. It's why we have so many fights, and I certainly never wanted to cause you pain, but I did, and I probably will again, because that's who we are. I want to protect you just as much as I want to protect Donnie and Mikey, but I'm just really lousy at it, Raph. It seems that the more I try the worse I do, but I won't stop, because that's who I am. It's the same way for you too, right? You can't stop fighting and going out, because that's who you are. It's what we do, and I'm sorry that I can't do anything about the pain we cause each other, but I can and will continue hugging you until you accept that you're my brother and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Raph was still and extremely quiet for a long moment, seemingly taking in everything Leo had to say, and then he huffed out a breath as he settled in, ready to accept his fate. "Fine, be that way."

Leo glanced up to see the smirk on his brother's face. "I love you, little brother, and I really am sorry. I hope you know that."

Raph shrugged as much as he could in Leo's hold. "Eh, I'll heal." Out of all of the times that Raph had told him that he had forgiven him, this was the only time that Leo actually believed him, and Raph hadn't even actually said the words.

Leo knew that it would take time and that things would still never really be the same, but, for the first time since all of this had began, he actually believed that Raph would, indeed, heal. In fact, maybe the whole family would, eventually. "Yeah, I think we all will, little brother."

The End


End file.
